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How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

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Saychelle- we are not damaged goods. We are survivors. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
We may have been hurt, abused, raped and at one point broken, but we are not damaged. We are individual unique artworks. So what if we are a little rough around the edges, or react to things differently. So what if we seem to other slightly off kilter. We have been through the kiln and we have not been destroyed.
I know what you mean though. I hate being referred to as damaged goods as well.

I only just saw this. Thank you. I'm too dissociated to write anything sensible in response.
An extremely full day today. Kids each have a friend over and are now sleeping in tents tonight. Pizza for supper, and the fun activities for them tonight are about through, and I'm ready to collapse outside on the ground in a 1 person tent. Can't wait!
Todays been crappy. In fact even though I know it'll ultimately be a good thing (I hope) the fact that I have finally remembered (and, most importantly, realized) I was abused as a kid seems to be pretty much the worst right now. Another family blow-up, I guess exacerbated by my barely contained rage. When will I get better?
So my dog had a seizure today. we've never witnessed one before but in retrospect we think he mav have been having them over the past month. I believe it was a grand mall he was stiff and it lasted 2 to 2.5 minutes but time slows down during that kind of stuff.

this is not the fires seizure I have seen. I have worked with many clients who would have an attack once in a while and some who wore a bike helmet because there were multiple events daily. so it's old hat.

today being unexpected and on a loved it was difficult to cope. I'm up when I should be in bed because I cant sleep. this sucks.

possible causes are decreased liver function, early onset epilepsy ( I cues thats common in older dogs) and last but not least a brain tumor. we were thinking it all day that our gut told us tumor it wasn't until later on tonight that we realized the other had the same gut feeling.

so any way this sucks. tack that on to the stress board
follow through

I have been curled up in a ball all morning ... now I have to go out and meet my sister who I have been avoiding - she doesn't know about the PTSD ... I wonder when I will have to tell her because I can't hide it anymore. Once she knows, the family will know and then they will put two and two together and know that I have not dropped the allegations against my father and that I am still stuck in the past. That is a day I do not look forward to, when it comes up again it will break up the family and I will be seen as everyone's problem - again! I will have to face the inevitable - face the past again with everyone pitying me and taking sides and this time I will probably lose them all - perhaps that is a good thing. I am shaky. I want to cancel with her, but I know I must go ... I had a shower and now will have to put on a happy face and go greet the world .. I don't want to, but I know I must go so I thought I'd just declare it here so that I follow through.
I made my first post here yesterday.
I cried a lot yesterday.

I made a decision to ask for help here and to try to heal myself.
I cried a lot today.

But I took a walk outside early this morning
the birds were singing and I noticed it.
I picked up a knitting project to work on.
Some hats for my little grand daughters who are 1, 3, and 9.

My son moved out last week to start college.
I miss him terribly.
This make 4 grown and moved out of the house.
My youngest son is 12, 13 in Sept.
so at least I have 1 still in the nest.


I didn't sleep enough today- never a good start. I am tired. I'm zero for one on the planned social engagements for today. I would like to go back to bed but I know I would just lie there unable to sleep. Although sleep seems elusive today, doesn't mean social contact needs to elude me as well. Chalking one up for making an effort not to isolate. Hopefully a shower will wake me up.
my day

I'm recovering from a broken ankle (car accident) but that is healing nicely. I even managed to clean one of my bathrooms on one leg lol. Had to do it though because the in-laws came over for coffee today. I woke up feeling really down, and I did some of the breathing and meditation excercises that my therapist gave me to do and that really helped. By lunch time I was actually feeling pretty chipper and had my sense of humor back. Going to watch a movie tonight, and my boyfriend just went out to pick up supper, so it looks like a nice relaxing evening.

Admist everything, enjoyed two recent zoo and amusement park trips with the family in this last week.

Tonight however is Tuesday, and if it's not one trigger it's another, Tues. nights however are certain triggers as I regularly go out and revisit the like-scene and like-characteristics of too many a once offense, violation and abusive experience. ....whatever
to everyone i've noticed i'm off moderation and i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be
whether i am or whether i'm not right now i am trying to be very careful about my words and would appreciate any feedback about me getting it wrong .
I woke up nervous about money and the new dating thing.

I'm using my box of tools to change my thinking. I'm realizing how wonderful I truly am and how dedicated to my healing I am.
Good Job Ter
am tired my body hurts can't think something about today at the weekend though we walked my neighbours dogs and made sunflower seed bread rolls i really (value ? )these new experiences
wishing you all ,all the best
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