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Hubby Has Had Enough Of Suffering From His Ptsd And Doesnt Want To Live Anymore.

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Sunshine71

Gold Member
Dear all

Hubby has had enough of suffering from his PTSD and doesnt want to live anymore.

I am wiped out.

I am scared.

What can I do to help the man I love.

Sunshine
 
I'm sure this is frightening. My husband has been in your shoes many times. It can be extremely exhausting. What he will do if he thinks it's necessary is stay home from work and put in a movie, just lying down with me, not saying anything, listening if I talk.

He might ask if I have called a friend or my therapist, take me to the doctor if need be. He has also called them before when he has been very concerned. One other time it was at a point, when I was an extreme situation he needed to take me to the hospital.

What is he saying exactly, the words, his actions, has he called anyone? Does he have anyone that can stop by? Sometimes being able to say these things is needed.

(((((((hugs))))))))
Rain
 
Oh Sunshine, it's so horrible, I am so sorry for you both.

Good advice from Amethyst and Srain.

I have been where you are and I did two things. I contacted his T and got an emergency visit and I arranged for "sitters" to come when I had to be out of the house.

At least he is talking to you about it, a way of asking for help. I am no expert, but that feels like a good sign, if he has reached out then take his hand - in what ever way you can, and make sure he knows how much you love him.

Stay strong
 
You can't control how he feels. I've been there at the place where I wasn't even surviving, living under a blanket all day dissacotiating extrememly badly with my diaphram hurting so much from all the hypeventilating and thinking about running out in front of a truck.

You can only support him and listen to him. My husband supported me by telling me not to be so hard on myself, not abandoing me and listening to me after counceling sessions.

Luckily the PTSD which left me scared, made me too scared to do it, but lagged when crossing the road. Your husband is at the beginning of his journey with PTSD. It gets a lot better. You can improve a lot from PTSD. I'm 13 years into my journey and have almost recovered my main personality from my PTSD. I am off antideppressants and I do a lot all day as a new mum. If nothing has worked he has to try different therapies and psychologists until he finds one that clicks with him.

I think the others have good advice.
 
Thank you so much for your amazing words everyone.

Such incredible people on this forum.

Hubby has calmed down although yesterday afternoon he flared up again. Maybe I will talk about this seperaltey....

For a week he hasnt taken his medication - heart medication as well as anti depressants... He didnt tell me and I didnt relaise although I knew he wasnt great....

His words were "I am calm, I have never been calmer, I know now what to do. I do not want to go on living"

He now says that he wouldnt do this to me and leave our son without a daddy too.

He is very tired from the flashbacks and visions and doesnt want them anymore.

The past 2 1/2 years have been full on with the PTSD although the past 10 years or so he has suffered from time to time.

He has gone out today for his photography and is happy - So I have some space too.

We are working out if he can find some space to do his photography from so he can get away from the house as he is not liking working from home.....

Thanks guys and I prayed last night - please please let him be happy....

With love Sunshine xxx
 
Sunshine I feel with you. I saved my hubby's life twice. The second time I called the police and he got put away in a closed ward. Sound hard but that made him realised, that he had a problem to solve. He stayed over half a year in different clinics. He still got his days, but he is willing to work on his problems now.

The bad feeling leaving him to go shopping is still there. I'm always kind of scared what to find when I return
 
Is he working full-time? Does he have any hobbies? Get him to find a hobby, something unrelated to anything bad or pressure, preferably something he can control/manipulate/build (objects only lol), or maybe a dog, but not a small hyper one, like a German-shephard/schnauzer mix or something, mix because better chance of survival usually, one of the ones more responsive to training so less roadblocks.

Have him start it and learn the hobby/project at any time EXCEPT when he feels like shit, then just use exercise or something, till he gets comfortable with the hobby, then it's ok to use it when feeling lame. Whatever happens, don't ONLY use it in bad times, if it's able to be made into a routine, that's a plus.

Basic component of the human psyche is needing something to retreat to in bad times. For me it's always been video games(or other stuff, but point remains the same), a place of solace when the world/pain seems like too much. Important not to rely on it, but definitely good to have safe/calm/comfortable places.

I'm not saying this as a way to forget the pain, as some people may think lol, but, more like a way of dealing with it in the moment, so that you can approach it from a calmer perspective later.

Edit: I actually read the posts this time, and saw photography, but honestly, that doesn't generally involve mind and body. (Maybe for people who like to edit it does, lol I've never been able to manage editing though, from personal experience, something that takes all or most of your concentration is best)

Oh wait, saw that photo might be work, in that case, why not have him build a photohut? (If you guys have the room)
 
Your husband is at the beginning of his journey with PTSD. It gets a lot better. You can improve a lot from PTSD. I'm 13 years into my journey and have almost recovered my main personality from my PTSD. I am off antideppressants
Very true.

You can make lots of progress with ptsd if you keep at it.

There may be no definite cure or time when you will fully be "over it" or totally recovered...but you can really improve and adapt and learn how to manage it when it gets really hard, and learn to self-care. I'm off anti-depressants as well now, for over a year and a half, and feel like I've made huge leaps and bounds from where I started 8+ years ago.
 
Thank you so much everyone - such amazing on this forum.

Hubby is feeling OK at the mo and has promised that he would never do this to me and our son.

A hobby is a great idea - although he is really focused on the photography and is really good too.

Thanks again and I will check in again soon.

With love Sunshine xx
 
True words about improvement, I know my husband has come a very long way.

He does photography and goes out and about with his camera and a back pack, uses his editing software at home, and puts the results on flicker with a link to the dreaded FB so his mates can see and comment on his work. I am encouraging him to start a photo blog.

Has he thought about distance learning? All the big Unis are offering it these days, I know that Oxford has hundreds of subjects on offer at a very wide range of levels.

Best of luck!
 
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