General Hubby Has Stepped Up! Sickness Did It

[Kathy]

I had bowel surgery, hysterectomy and appendix out all in the one op. I got out of hospital yesterday. Doc said at least 2 months recovery so a long process for me and hubby so far he is hanging in there he has had a couple of shitty days but so far hanging in there.

Oh my. I had a hysterectomy myself years ago, and it was difficult enough to recover without having other surgeries/complications. Do get as much rest as you need, and feel better. Perhaps you should insist on your husband getting help, even if he says he doesn't need it? It wouldn't do for him to crash right now.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Kathy yeh the operation was a bit of a shock! I spoke to a counsellor regarding hubby last week and she was going to give him a ring I dont know if she has he hasnt mentioned it to me.
He seems to be in denial that he is not coping where I can see the signs we have been there before! It is extra stress that I dont need for my recovery.
I am getting better slowly so probably 2-3 weeks I will be able to help him hopefully.
Jen

 

[Jim]

Christ Jen, quite the ordeal. Take it easy please.

Jim.

 

[Jen]

Yeh thanks Jim it is going to take some time though!
Jen

 

[Kathy]

He seems to be in denial that he is not coping where I can see the signs we have been there before! It is extra stress that I dont need for my recovery.

Oh dear I know those signs well I'm afraid, not much you can do I suppose except support him as much as you can and hope he makes the right choices. I do hope you manage to get enough rest before you have to be back at it.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Kathy yeh I will not be rushing back to work that is for sure!
I am really coming to a decision that as soon as I get back to work and he stays at home as before that I am not going to worry what he does anymore I am really over it!
We have been down this track before with and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting further away, I do not need to have the stress for my recovery that is for sure!
Jen

 

[wildcritter44]

Jen,

Best Wishes for a speedy recovery. Hope things continue to go well for you and hubby. Take Care

D

 

[jods]

Hi Jen

Wishing you a safe recovery. Hope hubby has enough sense to ask for help instead of trying too hard & making your recovery unpleasant for both of you.
Take care of yourself. You'll be back on the golf course before you know it:wink:

 

[Jen]

Thanks guys gee Jods the golf course seems a long way away at the moment but getting there slowly.
Jen

 

[jods]

Hi Jen
I know it seems a long way off at the moment but just think, it's some thing to look forward too!
Hope you are getting stronger & feeling better each day.
Gentle hugs!

 

[Jen]

Well it has been 6 weeks since my surgery I am getting better but slower than I would like.
Hubby looks like he is going to crash and burn anyday he is overdoing things wont ask for help I really feel it is a matter of time before he hits the wall.He is doing stupid things like spending all our money which we cant afford as we have a small business. I told him yesterday to stop using the account for buying things we dont need. He got the shits with that and cut all his credit cards up with scissors!
I dont know if he did this to stop himself spending or he is just being a smart arse!! Anyway at least now I can take control of the finances so we dont go under because the way he was going we could have gone broke and been in a lot of debt? I have someone who can help him at the business but he keeps insisting he is ok:frown:
I really cant afford to have all this stress it is not going to help my recovery?
Thanks Jen

 

[jods]

Hi Jen
Sorry to hear you are still not well. You're right about the extra stress not helping you recover as quickly as you'd like.
I know you probably haven't got the energy to confront your hubby about him not looking after himself which sucks. Can you ask someone from his course to maybe have a word to him or kick him up the butt? Let him know for the sake of both of you & your future together, physically & financially that it is ok to ask for help if you need it.
For what it's worth, I really do hope that things slowly start to get better for both of you.
You're an amazing woman & I hope that I have just a little bit of the inner strength that you have.
Gentle hugs to you.