General Hubby Is Drinking Again, And He Knows It Is Now A Problem

[amethist]

Bit of back story first.

Hubby started drinking a few months after his accident, and within 5 months he was drinking 24/7. He sought help and did 10 days detox to stop him from drinking. That was back in 2008. He was also registered as an alcoholic.

Apart from a few hiccups the following few years were fine, no drinking as he did before and mainly left it alone.

The last year he has had a few a week and the Dr knew about it and was ok with it as long as it stayed that way.

Fast forward to 6 weeks ago, when he found out how ill his dad is.

He is now drinking about 4 cans a night, sometimes more. This is from only being able to drink 2 a couple of times a week. He knows it is wrong for him and he knows he has a problem, but trying to get him to go for help, even though he said he needs to, is a hard job at the moment.

I am struggling to deal with it and am having to find help for myself to be able to keep going. right now I just want to walk out and leave him to it. I know its all because of how ill is dad is and possible knowing he does not have long on this earth now, but it's not the way to deal with it.

I just hope it gets no worse before he seeks help.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

No it isn't good for him at least you know what is troubling him- Sometimes they drink because they can't say what they want to when sober- Drinking is truth serum- I cannot lie when I drink - can you? Maybe spend a few days apart so he can wallow- a visit to a friend or relative... But, it will probably get worse before he is ready-- but you be safe, too.

 

[amethist]

but you be safe, too.

That is one thing that I am sure of, I will be safe.

He has never been violent with me, even when he was drinking 24/7. Oh he nay have gone off at the mouth a few times, but that I can deal with, and he knows I wont take any crap like that from him. He knows I will walk out if he takes it out on me.

If there was somewhere I could go I would. Unfortunately all family and friends I have don't have any where for me to sleep, but there is always the hotel just down the road.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

It is hard; being the strong one, when you are the one, in need of a lift. It sounds like you really love him, and, that is all any of us need to know when we are down on ourselves... somebody, does care. I know I do. I love this life, despite my grief and illness.

 

[amethist]

He gave me a few crappy reasons for him drinking tonight, and I called him on them.

He has now asked me to make him an appointment to see his GP, he wants this stopped before he is back in detox.

 

[KP the nut]

Amethist, I wish I had that magic wand. Stay strong and phone me if you want to talk/vent/rant.

 

[nursenurse]

I am a bit surprised that your GP was okay with a few drinks a week. You know and he knows he can't ever touch the stuff sgain, I guess some folks do this:banghead: a few times before getting it right.

Death is a hard thing. I don't know if his Mom is still around, but you are never too old to be an orphan.

Is there unfinished business between your hubby and his father? Sometimes the unspoken word gets in the way of acceptance, love, and letting go. I am happy your mister is going for help again. It shows courage. And fear if you threatened him with leaving :D

I was a palliative nurse for years. I nursed the family more than the patient sometimes. I hope things will have eased a little. Maybe you need a timeout for a bit, refresh the mind and the heart. Take care, dear Amethist. My prayers are with you tonight.

 

[franciemarnie]

I grew up with someone who had a drinking problem and eventually I became obsessed with it and my whole life centered around it. You have to take care of you. Maybe he will quit someday, maybe not. But you can get help for yourself in dealing with it. The best source I know of is Al-Anon. There everyone knows what you are going thru and they have found solutions so that their sense of well being is not dependent on someone else's behavior. You sound like a wonderful loving person. He probably is too but I am more concerned with your well being than his here. I pray for the best for you.

 

[amethist]

Is there unfinished business between your hubby and his father? Sometimes the unspoken word gets in the way of acceptance, love, and letting go

There is unfinished business from his childhood nursenurse, one reason he has PTSD, though we did not know in the beginning. His mum is still alive, though he has said that he would not feel like this if it were her.

I do take time out when I can, though not always easy to do for a number of reasons.

But you can get help for yourself in dealing with it.

I have support from the carers office, had a chat with a lady who works with supporters of alcoholics and drug users yesterday, so that is in place.

He has made an appointment to see the Dr, so we are moving forward with it all.

 

[Nicolette]

Not on the forum much, message me if you want to chat :hug:

 

[amethist]

Today has been a little better. He had one pint at lunch time, then came home.

Has been not good for the rest of the day but tried his hardest to have fun with our grandson.

Rather than having another drink he has taken an extra 10 mgs of his medication, then gone to bed as he felt so bad. Maybe taking the extra medication is the way to go until we see the Dr.

 

[amethist]

So far so good this is now day 3 and none at all today or yesteday.

He is now drinking shandy pop, so hoping he is now on the right path, along with higher medication this maybe the break through he needs.