General Hubby Is Struggling With Past Memories.

[amethist]

Boy has it been a rough few days.

Hubby is struggling with so many memories coming up from his past. He has told me things I did not know until the past few days.

Memories of friends he has seen die in motor bike accidents. A memory of seeing a friend of his die when he was a young child.

Memories of him being sat alone in his flat on his birthday and Christmas, which explains why he hates being in the house on his own.

Hopefully he will get the the therapy he is waiting for soon.

 

[discarded]

At least he is sharing these memories with you and not shutting you out. A very brave man, so lucky to have you as his supporter and allow you to support him. I hope he gets gets therapy soon too. ((((hugs))))

 

[Bilby]

I agree with Discarded.

It's great that he's sharing, and I hope that he gets the therapy soon too.

This must be very difficult on you too.

(((Amethist)))

B x

 

[Nicolette]

Hope all gets better for you both. Glad he is sharing and talking as that is good therapy in itself (((Hugs)))

 

[myvetswife]

which explains why he hates being in the house on his own.

I think that supports us supporters in supporting them. :eek:What a sentence.....

Glad he openend up to you!

 

[safenow]

I'm glad he opened up to you. That is a big step in the right direction. I'm going to share something with you that might help you to help him while he's waiting for therapy.

The following flashback halting protocol can be taught. It is based on the principles of dual awareness, reconciling the experiencing self with the observing self. It usually will stop a traumatic flashback quite quickly.

Fill in the blanks:

Right now (you) I (are) am feeling _________________
(insert name of the current emotions, usually fear)

And (you) I (are) am sensing In (your) my body ____________________
(describe your current bodily sensations – name at least three)

Because (you) I (are) am remembering _______________________
(name the trauma by title only – no details)

At the same time. (you) I (are) am looking around where (you) I (are) am right now in _______________
(the actual current year)

Here _______________
(name the place where you are)

And (you) I can see ______________________
(describe some of the things that you see right now, in this place)

And so (you) I know _____________________
(name the trauma, by title only, again)

Is not happening now/anymore.

Print this out and keep a copy so you can help if the need arises.

I know talking to you about it means that the memories are uppermost in his mind. I know what that can do to you and him. I have memories of death and all that goes with it. Not just once, but more than once. He needs a way to release those thought as quickly as possible, so they don't haunt him.

After he gets a good therapist, they will teach him grounding techniques. If they don't, you tell them to do that for him. Also, be sure he is breathing when he talks to you about these things. If you see his head go down, and he is rather spacy, remind him to take some slow, deep breathes, hold it a second, then push the air back out. Long and deep. Have him do that several times. Remember, have him do it slowly or he will hyperventilate. It will calm him. You might even want to do this yourself so you can show him how to do it. Have him look up, into your eyes, and smile at him.

Take care.

 

[amethist]

We do all that and more safenow, 5 years of this has us in good practice.

Just hoping this new therapist is better than the one he had a few years ago. He was a bit wishy washy.

He is calmer today, though very tired.

 

[safenow]

I'm sorry. I thought you said the memories of death were new. Because if they had been, that's an important breakthrough.

 

[amethist]

The memories are new, but how to deal with everything is not.

His PTSD came about because of a road traffic accident, but it seems there is a lot of his past that is now coming forward.

 

[safenow]

I know this might sound strange, but that's a good thing. That means the mind is ready to release and heal. I'm so happy you two have each other.

 

[KP the nut]

I know this is a supporters section. I just wanted to let you both know I'm thinking of you. Amethist, please give H a hug from me.

 

[amethist]

Hubby seems a bit better this morning, though he is worrying about going to the dentist tomorrow, if we can get there.

He sat listening to the radio changing the words. He does this to take his mind of other things. It gets crazy at times but keeps him sane.