News Human Rights For Sex Offenders

[shimmerz]

That just sucks royally that you were put through that type of treatment!!!

An attempt to victimize the victim further.

 

[Mit]

The thing that I still don't understand is, ...the why of it. Why do some of us turn it against ourselves while some abuse others? I think understanding this might go along way in helping society understand that not every abused person becomes a perpetrator of sexual abuse.

I ask myself the same question over and over, selfishly simply because I want to understand my own journey. Some people don't develop coping strategies at all that are sexual in nature, in response to sexual abuse, why not?

Still I have had people say that I was an abuser because of my abuse history and it really hurt me to know that they thought that way about me....

This is so wrong. I am so sorry you have been subject to such total ignorance and abuse. It is yet another myth perpetuated by the media and ignorance.

Working with a therapist we have discovered that, like many children who suffer trauma, I took responsibility and blamed myself. I did this because it gave me a sense of 'control' and was preferable to the terrifying truth, that I had no control whatsoever over the painful and frightening experiences throughout my childhood. I discovered I also blame myself for being given up for adoption. It seems so ridiculous now, but my therapist reminds me that I am judging my childhood reactions with hindsight, through the perspective and lens of an adult, with adult experience. I have to keep reminding myself of this, to stop judging the child I was.

I wonder if re-enacting also gives me a sense of control and power, over something(s) (my genitals, my sexuality and sexual experience) I had no control over throughout my childhood.

I have children of my own and it's been helpful for me to compare my childhood experiences with theirs, to help me understand and appreciate just how disruptive my own childhood was. I haven't seen my children in a state of undress since they were about 4 years of age, no one has. They have control over their bodies, privacy and dignity. My parents, doctors and nurses were all still examining and touching my genitals when I was 16, and had done so since I was 3 years of age. I was masturbated when I was 13, by a medical photographer, because he needed to 'check my sexual function'......(not knowing if this was genuine or if he was an abuser is a continuing source of distress). My children's boyhood experiences compared to mine are worlds apart, they are confident, self assured, they have girl friends....(I never did). My kids would be appalled and horrified if they had to undergo a fraction of the humiliation I did.

I'm the sort of person who needs to understand things, I am very analytical and ordered by nature. Perhaps that is why I evolved the acting out, striving to make sense of something. Doing it hasn't helped at all, but understanding why I do it would give me some solace.

I hope some of the ramblings above might be helpful to you also, in your own search for understanding.

 

[shimmerz]

Why do some of us turn it against ourselves while some abuse others?

I think for me Lion, I can't speak for others, it was because I was powerless to turn on anyone else. It would have just made it worse. So I learned to turn it inside.

 

[Stickler]

Bump...sorry for thread necromancy.

This would be where my ideals run right into my gut instincts.

Child sex abusers and sex offenders in general don't get caught, tried, or convicted...mainly because rapists and abusers are "supposed" to be people we don't know. Except over 80% of the time, they are known to the victim...
Prepubertal children are most likely to be abused by family members. So family members, faced with turning in one of their own? Often disbelieve the kid.
When sex offenders do go to jail? They generally have more victims than the one they went to jail for ( one survey of convicted rapists reported an average of 6, IIRC)
So we REALLY need to take sex crimes seriously as a society, and stop bloody excusing it for any reason.
This includes prison rape. Prison rape should not happen...even to rapist bastards/bitches.
(...Who probably DO deserve to die of bunga-bunga. Or the bamboo skewer game. Or being closed up in a barrel and force-fed until they die of gangrene caused by sitting in their own feces. Good times... But let's not go there, alright?)

ANYWAY...so if the offender re-offended upon getting out of prison...how would you know?

Considering so many sex crimes go unreported, and the minority that DO get reported go unprosecuted, and the few that are prosecuted may not result in a conviction?
So I believe in human rights... But how do you give these...erm... people...rights in a way that doesn't put the rights of others at extreme risk?

Not a rhetorical question.

Anarchy had a good point... Winning a conviction does nothing to help the victims of the crime? And it should.
I've thought an appropriate add-on penalty for murder would be to pay the families restitution for the rest of the killer's life...sexual crimes should come with restitution payments too, methinks.

 

[anthony]

I think families of the victim should get to do the same to the perpetrator. Take a big dildo and f*ck them till the bleed, split, die. I think if you're convicted of murder, the family of the victim should get the opportunity pull the trigger. f*ck jail and the cost... take them out back and take nothing more than the cost of a bullet.

Eye for an eye! People might seriously consider the consequences of their actions then.

 

[Ronin]

People might seriously consider the consequences of their actions then.

I don't think they will... which is nothing with an objection to that suggestion though. Just not believing much in anything being preventative to crime with simply differing sanctions.

 

[anthony]

Agreed, I don't believe there is anything that will ever completely deter crime. You will always have those who believe they will get away with it forever. I think harsh penalties though would really cut that number down however. That leaves police to focus on the ones who think they're untouchable.

 

[Ronin]

I think harsh penalties though would really cut that number down however.

Yep, I can definitely see that as a reason. Was just talking about penalties not being a magic preventative pill, or working as a scare for criminals; not that you were saying any of it, personally.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Yep, I can definitely see that as a reason. Was just talking about penalties not being a magic preventati...

My stepson is a sex offender who seems to be nonchalant about his issue. What he needs is to be on medications and getting the help he needs. Yeah, I have harsh words and don't talk to him too much. He's also a drunk.

 

[robert david baker]

:tdown::tdown::tdown::tdown:

 

[anthony]

One time emoticons alone say more than words could.

 

[Tricie]

I have read some of your above postings and I think right now because the crime is so fresh; I don't have any sympathy for the boy who raped my little niece.
I was watching a you tube of a boy who had apologized in court to the victim and broke down however if I was on that jury the tears would not have moved me at all.
Right now I am angry for a number of reasons.. A) my niece broke the house rules and had a boy over the house while the parents were not home B) I am angry at the stupid boy for forcing himself on her and raping her.
I hope and truly pray that justice is served and that his life is ruined for what he did to her!!!
He should not be allowed to enjoy his summer and as sadistic as it may sound... I think he should be raped to see how it feels for someone to violate your personal space.
I have no empathy nor sympathy for someone who acts out in such an inhumane manner.
Sorry... That's just the way I feel...