Husband is clinging and staring me down

[anonymous]

I need help. My husband is following me around the house and he knows I need time alone and I get extremely stressed with him just being in the same room. If I stay in one room he will sit and just stare at me. I've tried putting headphones on and he still will just sit and stare. How do I cope with this constantly?

 

[CrzyBl0nd128]

I have a clingy husband too,.. although he doesn't stare at me. Idk how you should deal with that.. I would probably lose my shit lol

 

[Neverthesame]

Well, you could try:

• Stare right back at him. You could even turn it into a staring contest. First one to blink, has to leave the room to do a household task. Eg, dishes, mowing the lawn, ect, ect.
• Get a phone, book, tablet or laptop and lock yourself in the bathroom. Even better if you only have the one bathroom. If he starts whining about it, well... If he wants to act like a lost dog, he can use the yard like a good dog. (Not even kidding)
• Put a leash on him. If you are the one who cooks dinner. Serve it to him in a bowl on the floor. (Again, I'm not kidding. Bonus points if it resembles kibble.)
• Pepper Spray. (This one is a joke)
• Only respond to him with "Woof! Woof!"

I can't stand when people do this. You're a person not at art exhibit. That passive aggressive bullshit, drives me up the f*cking wall.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I'd probably tell him to go f*ck himself, but that's just me!!!! A husband like him is just one more reason why I choose to be single!!!!!

 

[The Albatross]

How about going to get some alone time somewhere else?

 

[DharmaGirl]

Have you said something like - I need alone time for my PTSD, I'm going in the bedroom and shutting the door for an hour. Please allow me this time without interruption.

 

[digger]

he knows I need time alone

Are you stating this to him and then he is persisting in following you around, or is this a more general 'he knows I need time alone sometimes'?
If it's the first, then he's an asshole. If it's the second and you're expecting him to pick up when you need alone time without explicitly saying so, then maybe you need to be expressing this more clearly to him.

 

[Supervixn]

Ugh

 

[anonymous]

How about going to get some alone time somewhere else?

Sometimes I do that, I just go Park my car somewhere because I really don't have anywhere else to go.

Have you said something like - I need alone time for my PTSD, I'm going in the bedroom and shutting...

Yes, he will end up coming into the room and needing something. It really triggers me.

Are you stating this to him and then he is persisting in following you around, or is this a more general...

Yes, he knows. I've made it clear. He just can't seem to stand it when I'm thinking independently of him and want to process through stuff on my own.

 

[The Albatross]

Ugh indeed.

Have the conversation, set some boundaries and self examine to see if you've been sending mixed messages. Dunno your living situation or whether you both have jobs or interests outside the home as you haven't really shared much except the complaint but needy/clinging while annoying doesn't really make someone passive/aggressive, an asshole or any of the suggestions in post #3.

Who's the PTSD? You or your partner?

 

[Neverthesame]

To be fair, when I encounter this behavour in people, it's always been passive aggressive.

Though I absolutely agree, communication is a better first course of action than petty reciprocation.

 

[The Albatross]

At least two of the responses in your reply actually are passive aggressive in and of themselves. Giving a pass to the leash one. Petty reciprocation is conflict escalation and not conducive in the longer term to a partnership, but I'm banking you know that.

Would you really take your own advice in post #3?