Husband Isn't Dealing Well With My Ptsd

[Pencil]

I think your husband is manipulating you into believing there is something wrong with you

Not quite. With a PTSD diagnosis there is officially 'something wrong' - which, as Hashi pointed out, seems to be continuing abuse. But I agree that it seems as if he has a motive for wanting you to have a diagnosis, which is part of continuing emotional abuse. Something does not sit well with me. Again, forgive me for being morbid.

 

[sunnydayz]

Forgive me if I'm morbid and/or cynical. It struck me that HE behaves towards you in a way that YOU end up with a disorder that YOU now have to deal with, but HE now can't cope with it, and YOU are now concerned about HIM. What's wrong with this picture?

In addition, I can't help wondering WHY he prompted you to seek professional help. Could you perhaps explain a little?

I should have phrased my sentance better. He pointed out that he thought I had this. So I sought out professional help. It was something I had thought about for a long time, but never moved forward with. I am the one who decided I needed help. He never mentioned to me that he thought I should go.

He does try to make me feel guilty even though he says that he is not. In my first ever post on here, I mentioned that I had an emotional affair with another man and that got a little sexual. He knows about it and he will talk about that's all he can think about. Last night was rough. He brought this up and started going into desprictions. I had a complete melt down and started going off and telling him details about what he put me through. He tried to comfort me, but I just kept telling him to don't touch me. I laid in bed shaking and crying until I finally fell asleep. This was my first experience like this.

Pencil, I appreciate your candor and sensitiviy. I actually prefer brutal honesty.

 

[sunnydayz]

Forgive me if I'm morbid and/or cynical. It struck me that HE behaves towards you in a way that YOU end up with a disorder that YOU now have to deal with, but HE now can't cope with it, and YOU are now concerned about HIM. What's wrong with this picture?

In addition, I can't help wondering WHY he prompted you to seek professional help. Could you perhaps explain a little?

Yes, the picture doesn't seem clear. I have always been a people pleaser and this is something I am working on. I so bad want to try and not feel bad for him, but it is so hard!!! I know it looks bad and seems foolish, but it is part of my character.

 

[Pencil]

He pointed out that he thought I had this.

Would you mind elaborating on why? In other words, what specifically made him think you had PTSD? What symptoms did you have?

 

[sunnydayz]

Would you mind elaborating on why? In other words, what specifically made him think you had PTSD? What symptoms did you have?

He never told me why he thought I had PTSD. He was reading a book where the character had it and I guess I seemed a lot like the character. When I did my own research into it, I noticed that my main sympston was avoidance and numbing. I had some of th other "symptoms" but at the time of my research, this was the strongest. A good example is that I have always been a pretty emotional person, for almost a whole year, NOTHING could make me cry. Whenever he touches me, I tense up and kind of get freaked out even though I know he isn't going to do anyting to me. I am not the same happy go lucky person I used to be. I have pulled myself away from him emotionally as much as I can. I quit painting and doing the things I have always enjoyed. I HATE HATE HATE feeling this way. I just want to feel better and get better.

 

[katiekat]

I used to paint almost everyday, especially in high school. It was therapeutic for me. I would paint really simple ocean waves, and loved blending the colors together, id try to use all the colors I had, your icon/photo reminds me of my paintings actually. :) But I havent really done much painting in the last few years, I don't know what to paint and I am a perfectionist so its hard to want to start without knowing what to paint or if I will be able to make it turn out well. I know it sounds so lame, I just cant get myself back to that "carefree" state of mind lately.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

One therapist told me that as long as I was in daily contact with my abuser, that I wouldn't heal. She was right, as soon as I go away from her, a large weight was lifted off of me and I was able to move forward with my healing.