Supporter Husband Of Wife With Ptsd

[intothelight]

What was the reason that my wife absolutely had to go to the hair salon, when my son needed her?

Good question...ask your wife, but maybe you should spend a few days there instead of her caring for small children, taking care of the house, the meals and being a support to parents with a child in the hospital. A hairdressing salon is a pretty safe place to relax and get some down time. It ,may be that simple and is that not valid?

Is PTSD selfish, demanding, disrespectful, rude? PTSD definitely is not patient, kind, longsuffering, selfless. PTSD is definitely not unconditionally loving.

No PTSD is depression, fear, anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, self-hatred, disassociation etc. People are the above, regardless of PTSD, or whatever they want to blame it on.

 

[mywifestrigger]

I would love to be there taking care of my grandsons. We live in TN. My grandson is in the hospital in CA. I do not have the luxury of being able to take a leave of absence from my work.

 

[Never Give Up]

Just an update for my situation: Last night I "tried" to ask my wife to not keep spending our money on clothing and other non-important related purchases until I got paid again next week. She refuses to stop her habits and I had to put "our" money into a private account in order to get some major medical bills paid. She was upset that I had asked her to come to me for money when needed. I am willing to give her money and not hold it all for myself. Back years ago she had asked the same for me. I honored her request and I was asked for money to get fuel for me car. Now that the tables are turned, I am accused of being controlling and manipulative. What am I supposed to do? I am trying to do the best I can. I have a wife who will not get help, and when I bring up anything related to ptsd she laughs and says that I am not a doctor. I know I am not a doctor and I have a lot to learn. Can someone who has had the experience of not wanting help please reply back soon. When did you get help, and how did you realize you needed help.

I know that my situation may push her back into a corner. I find it almost impossible to have a 5 minute conversation with her and when I sit near her she feels that I am in her space. I can totally understand I was near her but still just feet away. I feel like I am talking to a spoiled child at times.

Our situation seems to be getting worse.

 

[mywifestrigger]

You need to take control of the money.

 

[mywifestrigger]

You need to take control of the money. Do not think that you are being unreasonable.

PTSD is depression, fear, anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, self-hatred, disassociation etc

With your wife having these traits, do not believe you are acting in a controlling way, you are simply being wise.
For example, if your wife continues to overspend on clothing, guess who she will blame for the medical bills not being paid.

 

[mywifestrigger]

Part of the symptomology of PTSD is the victim of PTSD goes through cycles. When the victim of PTSD is in the cycle of feeling they are overcoming, part of their mentality is that they do not need anybody, they can feel that they do not even have PTSD, they are in denial, they can attack any body that challenges any decision they make.

 

[Never Give Up]

@mywifestrigger - I agree with you. I am going to call my attorney and make sure that I am doing the right thing. Almost all our money is used for our family expenses only. I rarely buy items other than a coffee for myself. Money goes to utilities. I am blessed to say that when I was 39 years old I had paid cash for my house and do not have a mortgage payment. My only hurdle is that our family has just 1 income. My wife refuses to get a job and feels entitled to my income for her usage. A marriage is 100/100 - and a divorce is 50/50.

Supporters experiences: with no or little communication, how do you handle the adult responsibilities for your household.