Hysterical, crying never stops & SI

[Dynamic]

Im hysterical. In pain and wanna go to a mental hospital or just feel better.

It feels like I opened the crying that never stops. It’s too big and makes me wanna be numb but nothing works
I’m alive
I can feel
It feels like it will never get better. Makes no sense bc I can also see where I left off w T. That’s another thing I don’t have therapy. I’m home alone and that’s making it worse. I have SI and not sure what to do in the more big picture

I wish I could explain

 

[Ecdysis]

Hey @Defaultxlove

When I'm that distressed, I find it most helpful to try and make the situation 1 % less distressing.

Just start with 1 %

Maybe a bit later you can add another 1 %

 

[arfie]

breathing with you, defau. one breath at a time.

I wish I could explain

me. too, but ^it^ lives quite beyond words in my own case.
breathing with you.

 

[Rose White]

Sorry you’re in the grinder. Can you call the crisis line?

 

[Movingforward10]

Sitting with you @Defaultxlove . Sounds overwhelming and very distressing.

 

[Dynamic]

Thank you so much everyone.

Gonna take all advice and come back later. Deep breaths.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thinking about you and praying for you. Also, sending a virtual butterfly hug for warmth and a candle to light your way.

 

[Dynamic]

Thank you @VioletButterfly



I am waiting for a sandwich at the deli
I used to work here but it was a mess and then troopers came in all the time and one day three of them stayed in the dining area for like two hours I was dropping tears and my coworkers said I should take a break. I just froze and kept working but tears fell no face was kinda weird then I had a meltdown in the walk in freezer and got sick and went back to my drs and got anxiety meds and now here I am. Good sandwich tho.

Even better all my fav coworkers were happy to see me and A gave me a hug that startled me which really I needed more than she knew.

 

[VioletButterfly]

(((((((@Defaultxlove ))))))))) Good news to hear. Will keep you in my thoughts. :)

 

[RVA21]

Thinking of you @Defaultxlove *sending heart hugs*

 

[Dynamic]

I’m serious

Could this state of mind and emotion make me remember things wrong?

Could I be imagining things (creating “memories”) and believing them too quickly? My bf is concerned and asked me to pray about what I’ve been believing and idk if I’m being gaslit


Believe too quickly = bc fast brain?

 

[Dynamic]

It’s a lil scary how comfortable I am being triggered but it doesn’t have to scare me

This is because I put work in to train myself to relax and live again as difficult as it can be sometimes