I’m in shock with my therapist !

[JoeyC]

Hi so I’m on telehealth therapy and my therapist is so nice and respectful and respectful . When I was on my session , my wife came in to ask me a quick question . Maybe all of 20 seconds . My therapist got very upset and said he will not tolerate this and hung up on me immediately for my wife entering the room. He cancelled all my sessions online and wrote in a note “I can only conduct sessions with healthy boundaries “ like what??? Feel so hurt and rejected by a therapist . Someone make sense for me !!

 

[anthony]

Touchy therapist? I guess it comes down to the agreement you entered for online therapy. Not sure privacy via telehealth is really a thing... there are usually always people around.

 

[user55194]

Touchy therapist? I guess it comes down to the agreement you entered for online therapy. Not sure privacy via telehealth is really a thing... there are usually always people around.

Touchy therapist? I guess it comes down to the agreement you entered for online therapy. Not sure privacy via telehealth is really a thing... there are usually always people around.

But he never said anything about boundaries . I’m in my own house . Like things happen at time .. like he could have said .. hey next time please make sure there’s no interactions . To cancel right then and there and say to me that he conducts session only when healthy boundaries are maintained “ feels rejected and traumatic and hurt. How can a therapist do this to a client ? Would they do this if it was my son. I mean cmon . Something doesn’t make any sense

 

[Movingforward10]

Hmmm. Does seem an extreme reaction to it and like you say, why he didn't explore it more.

It is, however, am infringement of boundaires with your wife coming in and asking a question. Very odd thing for her to do (and if you engaged in a conversation with her as opposed to telling her you're in a session?). I do online at home and my partner would never ever do that and if she did, it would rock my session because the space is for me and T.
So I understand your T saying it is a boundary violation.
But I don't understand why he would terminate you over it.
Only one way to know and that is to ask.

If you ask, would you ask to repair and continue with T? Or ask so that you understand his decision and see if there is something for you to reflect on within his answer?

 

[Midnightmoon]

Ouch, that feels incredibly OTT of a reaction on their part. As you say most Ts would just reiterate the need for calm and confidential space.

Like movingforward has already said, do you feel it's worth trying to repair from your end and email? Explain it was a one off and you are very aware and able to keep the boundary? How long have you been with this T?

 

[anthony]

But he never said anything about boundaries . I’m in my own house . Like things happen at time .. like he could have said .. hey next time please make sure there’s no interactions .

No argument from me on those points. Therapist acted like a real dick.

 

[Hedge]

Thoroughly agree that his own actions are wrong. Even if an agreed boundary is broken, the professional thing to do is to revisit the agreement. What he did has the potential to harm a client and the client’s health is the first priority. Maybe you could email him (if you feel able to) and explain how you feel. Any therapist worthy of his profession should be able to accept your feelings and talk it through. If he was having a bad day (don’t we all!), he should apologise and allow you the opportunity to either accept it or terminate therapy with him.

It would be interesting to see what the APA has as a guideline for such an issue which, given what you have said, was obviously a one off incident as opposed to a regular occurrence.

 

[Muttly]

Oof, that sounds really difficult. How to do you plan to move forward from this? How do you care for yourself?

 

[Weemie]

I mean it's only a boundary violation if he actually expressed this as a boundary beforehand. You can't violate someone's boundaries if the first time they ever tell you about their boundaries is when they lose their shit on someone during an otherwise normal interaction.

OP didn't do anything egregious and it wasn't even his behavior that caused the issue. It sounds like "therapist" didn't mention this "boundary" at all beforehand, so this accusation holds very little weight. On top of him canceling every other session abruptly, after presumably taking money from the OP.

Is he giving you a refund on the session he terminated? Doubtful. Guy is shady and dramatic as f*ck, IMO. You dodged a bullet with this, I'd say. Some people absolutely should not be therapists and in my experience those are the ones who often wind up doing so. I would not waste time repairing this. My advice, move on and find someone who behaves like a professional.

 

[Friday]

“I can only conduct sessions with healthy boundaries

Sounds like he needs to learn some.

This isn’t on you or your wife. His crazy was showing.

 

[Hedge]

Hi so I’m on telehealth therapy and my therapist is so nice and respectful and respectful . When I was on my session , my wife came in to ask me a quick question . Maybe all of 20 seconds . My therapist got very upset and said he will not tolerate this and hung up on me immediately for my wife entering the room. He cancelled all my sessions online and wrote in a note “I can only conduct sessions with healthy boundaries “ like what??? Feel so hurt and rejected by a therapist . Someone make sense for me !!

As mentioned in my previous post to this topic (16 August 2024), I wondered what the APA Guidelines would be in relation to your experience. The following is what I found －

APA TERMINATION GUIDELINES

Ethics Standard 10.10 (Terminating Therapy) specifically addresses terminations as follows:

(a) Psychologists terminate therapy when it becomes reasonably clear that the client/patient no longer needs the service, is not likely to benefit, or is being harmed by continued service.
(b) Psychologists may terminate therapy when threatened or otherwise endangered by the client/patient or another person with whom the client/patient has a relationship.
(c) Except where precluded by the actions of clients/patients or third-party payors, prior to termination psychologists provide pretermination counseling and suggest alternative service providers as appropriate.

From - American Psychological Association (APA) ETHICAL PRINCIPLES OF PSYCHOLOGISTS AND CODE OF CONDUCT (January 1, 2017 Edition)

I also came cross the following item -

Avoid abrupt termination. Along with causing patients to feel abandoned, ending treatment too abruptly—whether you decide your patient has met their goals or they decide they are ready to be done themselves—misses a crucial opportunity to cement therapeutic gains. For that reason, Barnett suggests implementing a termination phase that allows ample time to discuss past gains and future goals. “Pick a date and discuss how to use that time effectively,” he said.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/07/career-therapy-conclusion

Just sharing this is case information in case you feel responsible for your therapist's reactions in any way

 

[whiteraven]

He cancelled all my sessions online and wrote in a note “I can only conduct sessions with healthy boundaries “ like what???

I've been thinking about this, and (besides the fact that he is just a jerk) I don't understand why he would even be mad. I mean, isn't it *your* session? Wouldn't *you* be the one to be upset (or not) by an intrusion of any sort?

I am so sorry you are dealing with all this. I'm wondering how you are doing now? I had a psychiatrist terminate me abruptly via certified letter because I had an outstanding invoice of $58. I know that took me a long time to get over.