I’m scared that my therapist is mad at me

[sunshinedaydream]

got very scared in therapy and shaking and couldn't talk, and then he had to walk me out, and I emailed scared, he told me to email when I get home. I did, but now sure he is angry at me. I had dreams his office is scary, with ropes, but they are not there. I told him in email about the dream. is he mad at me?

 

[ChildofGod]

I'm sorry. Can you text him or ask him if he's actually angry with you? Is there anyone else you could see instead? This sounds like a very uncomfortable situation.

 

[piratelady]

Therapists typically have very limited contact in between appointments, if any at all. In all likelihood, he’s not angry at you, but is just keeping the information you sent him handy to discuss at your next appointment.

 

[somerandomguy]

If he's angry at you, I'll give you $500. I mean it. On the contrary, it sounds like he is really concerned for you - he wanted to make sure you got home OK.

It's a therapist's job to not get angry. What did you even do for him to get angry at? Nothing.

Everything will be OK.

 

[sunshinedaydream]

I wrote him. He always says its ok to email. I email a lot, but dont expect responses. He emailed me saying sounds like I am having a hard time. he said try to focus on everything I have to do. I have court this week, and work, and family trip with triggering family, and lots more need to do. He said he is looking forward to seeing me Thursday. He didn't say if mad or not. I think maybe not but I can't tell if he is. I asked in session before and he said no, but I really am scared. Maybe I shouldn't go. I dont know.

 

[somerandomguy]

If he said he isn't mad, maybe you should believe him?

What would it mean if one person in your life didn't get angry at you?

 

[Sideways]

Maybe I shouldn't go.

Honest question: in your mind, how does this move you forward in any helpful way?

Is trusting him at his word scary as hell? Sure. Bt therapy is like that. Learning to trust your T is scary.

Not participating in the therapy process? Can’t see how that works out to benefit you, other than to avoid these current uncomfortable feelings in the (very) short term.

 

[Skywatcher]

It sounds like you had a flashback or were disassociated and freaked out about ropes that weren’t present day there. Perhaps you are still partially in that dissociative state and fearing someone from your past experience is angry at you. When it all clears up, you may realize for yourself that your T isn’t mad at you. Your T is hired by you to help you. It will all work itself out.

 

[hithere]

they hardest thing for me to understand is that sometimes the person you care about the most may have moments of difficulty. It doesn't mean a lashing, or rage attack, or rejection that probably your triggering family gave you when they were frustrated with you. Everyone frustrates everyone. However, getting an ass kicked, or teeth kicked in, or just the COLD SHOULDER approach is not what everyone does to those they care about.

My guess is your therapist is not mad at you at all, and understands your family triggers the crap out of you. Trauma therapy is hard AF -- the nervous system goes hay wire-- I'm guessing your therapist will be there for you-- If he is mad at you for this then I appeal to your most "together" self to get the hell away from him, because your reaction in therapy is not that weird!

 

[sunshinedaydream]

Thank you all. I went there yesterday and it’s true he wasn’t mad but I was so terrified and then it was ok. And he helped me breathe and get ready for court and it helped a lot and he said all my feelings are normal. So I think it’s true it is ok. I was glad he tried to get me to go even though I kept being scared because it was a lot better that I went.

You all helped a lot I was really freaked out!

 

[talon]

got very scared in therapy and shaking and couldn't talk, and then he had to walk me out, and I emailed scared, he told me to email when I get home. I did, but now sure he is angry at me. I had dreams his office is scary, with ropes, but they are not there. I told him in email about the dream. is he mad at me?

no he is not mad at you your flashbacks have obviously made you somewhat paranoid which is understandable he took steps to ensure that you were safely home. These things happen return and don't worry he is not mad at you if he was he shouldn't be a therapist. He did right by you

 

[Starfire]

got very scared in therapy and shaking and couldn't talk, and then he had to walk me out, and I emailed scared, he told me to email when I get home. I did, but now sure he is angry at me. I had dreams his office is scary, with ropes, but they are not there. I told him in email about the dream. is he mad at me?

Very much doubt he's mad. You did nothing wrong. In fact he walked you out & asked you to let him know you made it home safely. I call it a time/space warp when a place starts looking like a not so nice place from the past. Sometimes it's one item in T's office. Sometimes an item I've seen many times before. Besides as a T he's seen it before. That means he knows how to deal with it himself & help you deal. Take a deep breath. It will be fine.