I’ve been delivered - no longer desire to abuse my medication

[Justmehere]

Keep working with your doc until you have an actual solid relapse prevention plan and a sponsor.

 

[Gs172003]

No but I do plan to move to Virginia to marry a very special lady. From there I will run from drug s...

Baby didn't you try that already?

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’ve been a grateful recovering alcoholic for 27 years. Every day I remind myself that I am powerless over alcohol. Until you come to believe that you are powerless over drugs, you will never get sober. You can call in God or a light bulb, whatever you call a Higher Power. You are not the Higher Power, the women you have sought to rescue you are not required to solve your addiction, the magical thinking around Satan and evil and whatnot is just finger pointing. “If it weren’t for Satan, I’d be sober” “if I can fall in love she’ll get me sober”geographic cures don’t work because wherever you are, there you are. When you can humble yourself and admit that you are powerless, this insanity will not only continue, it will increase with no end to the insanity. NA meetings are everywhere, they’re free, the phenomenon of 12 step groups is well documented. We all have character defects, you are not unique. It works if you humble yourself. All that is required is a desire to quit drugs.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

The fact that you are taking Gabapentin still tells me you still don't get it. It's not the only thing you can take for pain. It's also not the only thing that helps nerve pain. It doesn't help other pain (for me anyway). A recovered alcoholic cannot have a sip of alcohol. A herion addict cannot have opioids of any sort. A gabapentin addict cannot still take gabapentin. Until you realize this I fear you will not get better. I left Florida and moved to Kansas to get away from and sober of coke/crack and I did. But the trauma was still there. And guess what? I started to huff keyboard duster and by the time I was back in Florida I ended up with a very bad addiction. Up to 16 cans a day. Which started in Kansas. So it had zero to do with the move back to Florida. Whetever you go there you are. I had a huffing addiction for the first few years of therapy. Now, 9 yrs in therapy and I am finally clean of everything. Including cutting. I do take medd but I am not addicted to nor do I like opioids (thank god or I'd be in trouble) or benzos.

My point is, you cannot run and marry away your troubles. You cannot just "give it to god". You must face and work on your trauma or you will just keep chasing your tail! Following doctor's orders or not.

I do hope you do well in treatment and I surely hope you continue to get better but I do 100% agree with @Friday on this one.

 

[joeylittle]

@sonicwhite - it sounds like you hit a solid bottom and were able to choose to take steps to get yourself feeling better. It’s hard that sometimes, that’s what it takes in order to really make that choice. But I’m glad you’ve been able to do it.

I hope you can listen to the folks on here telling you that addiction is a life-long situation, and while you don’t feel the desire to abuse now, you might still feel it again.

That doesn’t mean you need to live your life being afraid of it - it’s inportant to celebrate the progress you’ve made, and to celebrate it every day.

But it’s also very very important to take advantage of how much better you are feeling in order to put things in place that will help you, the next time things get tough.

I think that a group like NA could really benefit you. Think of it this way: instead of running away from drugs, the next time the urge comes calling - being part of a plan like NA gives you somewhere to run to. Somewhere to go. And building that support structure now, while you are feeling strong, is a great great time to do it.

NA doesn’t replace prayer, or your faith. It will give you a strong structure to lean on when you need, and grow from when you’re doing well.

 

[sonicwhite]

There’s a difference between abusing gabapentin and feeling guilty that you keep lying to doctors and just following their orders. That’s all I’m saying.

 

[Gs172003]

There’s a difference between abusing gabapentin and feeling guilty that you keep lying to doctors...

What does this mean?

 

[Fadeaway]

Please listen to what everyone is saying here. You know I have very different beliefs from you, but I spent 26years studying the Bible. Based on information you provided a couple of years ago, you have taught some seriously bad theology. There are hundreds of different denominations because everyone sees God and the Bible through the lens of thier own experiences.

The feel good, miracle and wonders version of Christianity you are following? If I still belived, I would call that the devil. Satan comes as an angel of light right? God never promised to make your life easier if you follow him, just forgiveness and a place in heaven. He isn't going to take your addiction issues away. It is the hope in what you have to look forward to in heaven that feeds the strength that God gives you. That is coming from a preist I spoke to recently.

 

[sonicwhite]

I’m just going to shut up because their are some telling me I’m wrong for repentance and then some telling me to stops my meds. All of you have hurt me today.

 

[hithere]

I meant it as an encouragement. I'm sorry it came out wrong. I'm happy for your victory and your change of mind/heart toward it.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you share why you are taking the Gabapentin?

I think the major concern is that once someone is addicted to something, there really is no such thing as moderation.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

lying to doctors

There is one of your biggest issues. When will you just be honest? My pain dr and my therapist and all of my doctors know I am an addict. When will you just simply be honest?