I didn't post on here what happened last week so I will do a quick update because it is a big factor in this downward spiral I'm in.
Last Wednesday I cut for the first time in a while. I was dissociating really bad for the days leading up to it. I took a sick day from work. I ended up cutting too deep and I already had an appointment booked with my social worker from the week prior. I covered it up but I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. I told her I had an accident and cut when we were talking. She called a nurse in to look at it and they ended up calling an ambulance to take me to the hospital to get it stitched up because I was dissociating and not communicating with them. When I got to the hospital the doctor wasn't going to do anything at all, he was going to leave it wide open and bleeding. I had to beg him to do anything at all to it. Told him the reason they sent me was to get it stitched and to speak to the psych team. He huffed and said fine he would glue it. When he came back he didn't clean it out with anything, just squeezed the glue in, didn't pinch the sides together at all, and put steri strips over top of it while the glue was wet. So the strips were glued to my cut and skin around it, plus he trapped bacteria in there and I ended up getting an infection. I was told to go home after that. No questions were asked about how I was feeling, I wasn't asked if I was suicidal or needed to speak to anyone.
Well the steri strips fell of Wednesday night (one week later). It looks worse than I anticipated. I knew it would look bad because of the hack job he did at my arm but I didn't expect it to look like this. I was told to call patient advocacy to file a complaint against the doctors care but no one will return my calls. They promise that they will within a business day. So it's really upsetting.
Stuff has been going on at work that puts me under a lot of unnecessary stress. It doesn't need to be this way but it's happening regardless. So I spend most of my day dissociated. I saw my T on Tuesday and we talked about the cutting and work and the emotions behind it all. I was supposed to see the social worker today but the clinic called to say she cancelled because she's sick. It upset me. I sat in my car and sobbed for a while after, couldn't pull it together. I needed that support but can't get it today.
Last Wednesday I cut for the first time in a while. I was dissociating really bad for the days leading up to it. I took a sick day from work. I ended up cutting too deep and I already had an appointment booked with my social worker from the week prior. I covered it up but I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. I told her I had an accident and cut when we were talking. She called a nurse in to look at it and they ended up calling an ambulance to take me to the hospital to get it stitched up because I was dissociating and not communicating with them. When I got to the hospital the doctor wasn't going to do anything at all, he was going to leave it wide open and bleeding. I had to beg him to do anything at all to it. Told him the reason they sent me was to get it stitched and to speak to the psych team. He huffed and said fine he would glue it. When he came back he didn't clean it out with anything, just squeezed the glue in, didn't pinch the sides together at all, and put steri strips over top of it while the glue was wet. So the strips were glued to my cut and skin around it, plus he trapped bacteria in there and I ended up getting an infection. I was told to go home after that. No questions were asked about how I was feeling, I wasn't asked if I was suicidal or needed to speak to anyone.
Well the steri strips fell of Wednesday night (one week later). It looks worse than I anticipated. I knew it would look bad because of the hack job he did at my arm but I didn't expect it to look like this. I was told to call patient advocacy to file a complaint against the doctors care but no one will return my calls. They promise that they will within a business day. So it's really upsetting.
Stuff has been going on at work that puts me under a lot of unnecessary stress. It doesn't need to be this way but it's happening regardless. So I spend most of my day dissociated. I saw my T on Tuesday and we talked about the cutting and work and the emotions behind it all. I was supposed to see the social worker today but the clinic called to say she cancelled because she's sick. It upset me. I sat in my car and sobbed for a while after, couldn't pull it together. I needed that support but can't get it today.