I dont feel like i'm here. I've lost my sense of self and dont know what to do

[BorisTheBlack]

Hi. I guess I am reaching out here, as I am lost. In complete sense on that statement. And I guess I am scared.

I had hypnotherapy to try to release some trauma from my past last week, and when I came round, I wasnt fully here. It's literally like I lost a part of myself... somewhere.

I feel like im not really here. It feels like im not completely attatched to my body. I'm present in the space im in, but it doesnt feel real. I can recognise where I am (at home) and know what i'm doing (like writing this), but it doesnt feel like its happening.
I'm NOT veiwing in third person - its not that much "out of body" where I see myself - but I definatly dont feel like I am me and i'm actually here. My whole body feels numb I guess? I think i'm here but my body is feeling like its not?

Im sorry if this desnt make sense. :(

I see differently - not blurry, but different. Like my brain isnt transmitting fully. Its a woozy, echoy visual disturbance. I zone out easily where my eyes lose focus.

I have a problem with food. I noticed I didnt want my morning tea anymore. Then I realised I am struggling to eat anything. My body tells me im hungry by tummy rumbles, but I will try to eat and a lot of the time its like eating cardboard. The foods I love, are no longer pleasant to eat. I know this sounds strange. But I can make my favourite sandwhich and I cant eat it. I have very little desire to eat.

I have anxiety. I never really had this unless I was in a distressing situation. In my everyday life it didnt occour. But now I feel anixety in bed each morning and throughout the day. Its not crippling, - thankfully - but its there.

And lastly - I am struggling to work. Because I cant connect to what I'm doing. I know what I have to do but I cant do it.

I do have the ability to cry about this. I recognize im distressed, I know im worried, I know its unplesant. I can cry when I allow myself. But its almost like that too is far away.

I have not felt any other emotion except anxiety or sadness since this happened almost a week ago.

I guess I wondered what other people think this could be, and what can I do to help myself? I am alone and without any positive emotions or wanting to eat I recognise this could be a problem, so i hoped i'd find somebody with some advice, or similar experience that could help.

Questiosn are :
What do other people feel I may have?
Why have I lost the desire to eat? Has anybody else had this?
And why am I finding it hard to do things? (work)

It's 24/4 by the way - not felt myself for 7 solid days now.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Sideways]

Ground. Ground. Ground.

Hypnosis seems to be coming up a lot at the moment. I’m really sorry that there are still hypnotist-charlatans willing to practice on people trauma.

Give yourself some time, and go hell for leather on things that bring you back to the present moment:-
Holding something frozen in your hands.
Swimming.
Working out.
Yoga.
Walks in nature.

Try not to panic about whether you’re ‘feeling’ anything. Instead, just be curious about the sensations in your body, and the thoughts that come and go in your mind.

 

[Friday]

Hypnotherapy & trauma are contraindicated. No hypnotherapist with any degree of skill or ethics -including conmen! Which is always sort of alarming, when not even criminals risk the consequences they’re so severe- will work on someone with a significant history of trauma, much less a trauma related disorder. For PRECISELY this reason, and worse (suicide & psychosis), being the EXPECTED result.

Ditto @Sideways … Ground, ground, ground. Get back to yourself & reality over, and over, and over, again. As often as you think about it. In as many different ways as you can think of. (Sensory. Cognitive. Emotional. Action. Etc.).

Hypnosis ain’t permenant. But it can take some seeeeerious effort to crawl out of the trenches.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Hypnotherapy & trauma are contraindicated. No hypnotherapist with any degree of skill or ethics -including conmen! Which is always sort of alarming, when not even criminals risk the consequences they’re so severe- will work on someone with a significant history of trauma, much less a trauma related disorder. For PRECISELY this reason, and worse (suicide & psychosis), being the EXPECTED result.

Ditto @Sideways … Ground, ground, ground. Get back to yourself & reality over, and over, and over, again. As often as you think about it. In as many different ways as you can think of. (Sensory. Cognitive. Emotional. Action. Etc.).

Hypnosis ain’t permenant. But it can take some seeeeerious effort to crawl out of the trenches.

Thank you @Friday and @Sideways .
Ditto .
Your posts are so pivotal and so important. There are the hypnosis-charlatans doing it - some purely for the quick $300-400 an hour. I have seen a loved one plumett, free fall. He is so fearful but so determined on getting better had been convinced only his therapist can heal him with Hypnotherapy/EMDR/counselling. The radical change I have observed post-appointment is deeply troubling to say the least.I am by no means saying this would be the result for all- but this is scary - To the point where the "sufferer" believed he has to lock himself in a room alone with no connection to the outside world and gone MIA. Meanwhile the supporter being respectful and offering space( which is demanded particularly after hypnosis and EMDR ) in love - is helpless to know if the loved one is in danger or not.

Hi. I guess I am reaching out here, as I am lost. In complete sense on that statement. And I guess I am scared.

I had hypnotherapy to try to release some trauma from my past last week, and when I came round, I wasnt fully here. It's literally like I lost a part of myself... somewhere.

I feel like im not really here. It feels like im not completely attatched to my body. I'm present in the space im in, but it doesnt feel real. I can recognise where I am (at home) and know what i'm doing (like writing this), but it doesnt feel like its happening.
I'm NOT veiwing in third person - its not that much "out of body" where I see myself - but I definatly dont feel like I am me and i'm actually here. My whole body feels numb I guess? I think i'm here but my body is feeling like its not?

Im sorry if this desnt make sense. :(

I see differently - not blurry, but different. Like my brain isnt transmitting fully. Its a woozy, echoy visual disturbance. I zone out easily where my eyes lose focus.

I have a problem with food. I noticed I didnt want my morning tea anymore. Then I realised I am struggling to eat anything. My body tells me im hungry by tummy rumbles, but I will try to eat and a lot of the time its like eating cardboard. The foods I love, are no longer pleasant to eat. I know this sounds strange. But I can make my favourite sandwhich and I cant eat it. I have very little desire to eat.

I have anxiety. I never really had this unless I was in a distressing situation. In my everyday life it didnt occour. But now I feel anixety in bed each morning and throughout the day. Its not crippling, - thankfully - but its there.

And lastly - I am struggling to work. Because I cant connect to what I'm doing. I know what I have to do but I cant do it.

I do have the ability to cry about this. I recognize im distressed, I know im worried, I know its unplesant. I can cry when I allow myself. But its almost like that too is far away.

I have not felt any other emotion except anxiety or sadness since this happened almost a week ago.

I guess I wondered what other people think this could be, and what can I do to help myself? I am alone and without any positive emotions or wanting to eat I recognise this could be a problem, so i hoped i'd find somebody with some advice, or similar experience that could help.

Questiosn are :
What do other people feel I may have?
Why have I lost the desire to eat? Has anybody else had this?
And why am I finding it hard to do things? (work)

It's 24/4 by the way - not felt myself for 7 solid days now.

Thank you in advance.

Hi @Boris- Are you doing okay??
Connect with this group. There are people who care and understand you.

 

[BorisTheBlack]

Good afternoon @Brumbyinthesunshine , @Sideways and @Friday. Hope my message today finds you well.

Thank you so so much for responding. Just knowing theres people who may understand me helps. Ive told 2 friends about this accident, and only 1 of them has paid attention to whats happened. The other hasnt even checked in on me.
I'm alone at home and its hard. So I am thankful for this little chat.

Yesterday I had an awful day.

My HNTherapist is doing ground work with me at the moment. Somebody suggested to him we carry on the hypno and unravel everything. But my HNT and myself both agreed perhaps not, as I'm already running on 60-70% mental capacity & if we do more we fear I'll go more into whatever this is, and not be able to function enough to communicate. I dont want to be a vegetable. So grounding is happening. Although I dont feel its doing much.

Brumby - thank you for asking.
Am I ok??
When I had it done, the first two days I could barely communicate - I felt so sick I was unable to do anything and the room around me was like looking through the bottom of a glass jar. But my HNTherapist helped me by doing hypno on me to stop the sickness. It worked. So I am better than I was last weekend, I was barely able to function. Now I am functioning, but at a lower capacity than my usual self. It fluctuates because the anxiety comes and goes. The vision issues and the strange feelings are constant. Sometimes I feel heavy as well, like being forced to sleep... which I dont understand. And I can only sleep a couple hours before I wake up. So my sleep is suffering too. Im ok as in I can get by. I feel shit though. Im exhausted.

Medical professionals I spoken to have said I'm "disassociating", and I've been advised my brain didnt like what I was doing so my brain has switched off. Sadly, the general opinion is only I can bring myself back. Which is just great, since I feel like potato and the only feeling I seem to have is sadness.

I still have concious things going on - for example one of my 3 best friends is having exams at work and I have not told her what im going through. I do not want her to worry/get upset and therefore disrupt her exam. So theres things going on upstairs that are still me, and the person I want to be.

I have found I particulary like heat. I ate soup yesterday and it was the nicest thing I have eaten in a week. Anything cold doesnt register. Bathing and showers also feel amazing. And hot water bottle. Hot water on my skin feels unusually nice - more than it ever did - so im taking baths, which help me relax too.

I hope I improve and dont get worse. I dont want to into a Psychosis.

Really really want to feel better.

 

[Rose White]

I have found I particulary like heat. I ate soup yesterday and it was the nicest thing I have eaten in a week. Anything cold doesnt register. Bathing and showers also feel amazing. And hot water bottle. Hot water on my skin feels unusually nice - more than it ever did - so im taking baths, which help me relax too.

Wise of you to notice this! Parts of the brain that process warmth also process feeling good. Goes back to infancy.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

I'm alone at home and its hard. So I am thankful for this little chat.

Hi @Boris - do you have any family? Siblings?Kids? Live in a city or out in the country?
You are doing well to reach out - when a lifeline is offered in the form of true love, a compassionate stranger ,a listening ear, a neighbour, a helping hands, a friend ,kind word - take it , accept it.
Good to hear you are eating. Don't punish your body because of those who hurt you... it is your dwelling place.

 

[BorisTheBlack]

Brumby - I dont have any family. Im single, and I live alone near a big city, but not in it. My parents are alive, and I have one sibling. But we are not close. Putting it plesantly, they are not very nice, my Dad especially.

I had a new symtom this morning - my brain was buzzing in bed. Like being zapped for a few seconds. Like a phone ringing on vibrate. Has anybody had that? Google says its a stress response.

 

[Sideways]

my brain was buzzing in bed. Like being zapped for a few seconds.

This could also be related to medication if you’re on any.