I don't feel safe at all

[ppppts]

I don't know what to do. I thought it would feel good to share some things here, anonymously. But I feel as if anyone who knows part of my situation, will figure out all the rest of my horrible miserable life. I don't think that anyone I know will search specifically about things that I'm going through, but I'm really REALLY afraid that someone will go in to this forum, becuase they think or know that I've been writing here.

I've had horrible experiences through the internet, and have been adviced to not share personal things here, because everything leaves traces and so on. Right now, I was just desperate to have some answers regarding some things that has been really difficult lately. But the more I write, the more anxiety I get.

I feel really unsafe. I don't even want to have my phone on, because I know my phone registers/"hears" certain words I say, and use it to make "interest based" ads. Which I have noticed, it does, VERY often.

This is just a small part of my anxiety towards the internet. I'm so scared that I will search for "wrong things" because it leaves traces. I'm scared that if I do something wrong, or something strange, and go to my family's home or friends place, they will get ads for this, and understand that it's because of me or something. I like to keep most things private, even though I'm already VERY careful. But right now everything frightens me.

It's very tiring to live like this. I do so many stupid, not thought-through things SO MUCH... I don't know if I can handle all this right now :( I don't know why I keep posting stuff

 

[Kubash16]

Try to breath and slow down. I know, I know, slowing down and breathing is really hard thing to do. I understand your concern about ads, but I don’t think you have anything to be concerned about. I don’t see how your family/friends would be able to find you on here. Even if they stumble on the site for whatever reason, it’s not like your username is decipherable and most of what you’ve written is the same stuff most everyone else has written somewhere at some point. My family could probably figure out mine because I’ve been pretty specific and loose on what I’ve written. But yours are vague enough and match up enough to everyone else’s here that there shouldn’t be any harm.

I encourage you to stick around and learn more. This site is amazing for information and creating a community. Using a trauma diary could also be useful for you to help desensitize your nervousness about sharing. :hug:

 

[ppppts]

Try to breath and slow down. I know, I know, slowing down and breathing is really hard thing to do. I understand your concern about ads, but I don’t think you have anything to be concerned about. I don’t see how your family/friends would be able to find you on here. Even if they stumble on the site for whatever reason, it’s not like your username is decipherable and most of what you’ve written is the same stuff most everyone else has written somewhere at some point. My family could probably figure out mine because I’ve been pretty specific and loose on what I’ve written. But yours are vague enough and match up enough to everyone else’s here that there shouldn’t be any harm.

I encourage you to stick around and learn more. This site is amazing for information and creating a community. Using a trauma diary could also be useful for you to help desensitize your nervousness about sharing. :hug:

Thank you. That calms me. I guess it's just very difficult sharing some things.

 

[Kubash16]

It is extremely difficult to share. But it’s important. You can always look at my diary and see how much I’ve shared and how much support I’ve gotten from it. Just look up My Messed Up Story. I warn you it’s pretty detailed and hard and there is a moment I broke down and became suicidal because I went too much too fast. But maybe it will help give you courage. And for all the detail I’ve given out, I haven’t been found out. I really want you to see the support I get though that way you can feel like you’ll get that support here too.