Relationship I Don't Know How To Help Her And Still Keep The Relationship

[Deleted member 1860]

Please read the hundreds of posts by other supporters in the honeymoon phase in your type of situation who come here and say they'll never give up, they'll never leave ----then a few months later some come back and say they gave up, it was just too much. That is, those who come back at all. The honeymoon period is always awesome. Reality sets in and you realize just how difficult it is to live with PTSD. I'm not trying to say ditch this chick, but I see warning signs when at the first period of isolation you're complaining about your feelings being on the back burner. Yeah, well unfortunately they're going to be! This is why I say if you can't find a way to give her the distance she needs then it's time to seriously reconsider any sort of future between the two of you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Another thing-----we can be masters of wearing a mask. WHY? Simply because we MUST be. It is crucial to our survival and functioning in the world. Maybe you're in love with the girl you knew before PTSD took hold, the girl who was able to keep the symptoms at bay just long enough----and then the wall comes down and the PTSD is exposed. The supporter is left wondering what happened? They want back what they used to have. Unfortunately it usually doesn't come back because it wasn't REAL.

 

[Confused Leo]

Solara, I'm not sure if I am reading your responses wrong or anything. Im not complaining about my feelings being on the back burner....I see how it reads that way though. I was complaining about it pre diagnosis. Now I am

1)venting cause even with understandingit sucks. And
2) asking for advice from other..supporters on how best to help.

I know she wont be 100% ever. Just kinda rough.... I don't know I'm all flustered emotionaly by this cause I don't think her house is diffusive to helping her.