I Don't Know How To Make My Parents Understand

[Lady Vet]

Deep down, I agree with you Lady Vet. Maybe when I'm less dependent on them financially I'll either stand up to them or it won't matter anymore because it won't be their business.

Ayasha, I understand completely. It is no easy thing, the balance between getting our needs met within a limited system. The fact is that you ARE dependent upon them right now, so what they think and feel about you DOES make a difference. We are all dependent upon someone or something, and there is no unconditional grace in the world of man, it is always dependent upon something.

So you're doing the best you can, Ayasha. The best you can within a limited system, and there is nothing at all to be ashamed of. You are making choices that are the absolute best way that you can see right now to maintain your balance and equilibrium within a system upon which you are currently dependent. There's no judgment, Ayasha. No judgement from anyone, including you about these very difficult choices that you're making.

I do believe that we ALL make the very best choices that we can based on what we know or what we can trust. So right now, what you know and what you trust is that your parents are the best way for you to maintain your ability to remain in school, which is very important to you. It is unfortunate that your parents are holding your education as a leverage point to control you, but right now it is the best choice that you can make.

So hold on tight to whatever you can within that system so that you can continue to move your life in the direction of your choice. I admire your courage to get your needs met anyway you can. Hugs :)

 

[Lady Vet]

She offered family counseling last year but I didn't want it, I still don't but I will get her opinion. I trust my counselor and I know she does care for me so she'd only suggest it again if she thinks it would help me.

Trust yourself, too, Ayasha. Even if she thinks it would be good for you, you know best. You always know best what you can handle. You alone understand how everything is balanced and maintained. So all I'm saying is trust yourself, too. :)

 

[who am i kim]

My mother thought is was an affront to herself that her child had a mental illness. Not possible in her mind. She unfortunately will always be in denial, my father can see that something is wrong with his little girl, but chooses to keep silent as he loves his wife too. Parents do not like seeing their own children sick either. Boundaries are a key here to keeping your sanity and peace in your life.

My mother ruled my life for 40 years until I met my T and she showed me how to deal with her. My trauma is partly caused by her too. She will never understand this either.Well she chooses not too. I love my parents but have to keep my distance, for my own health. Hope that this does not distress anyone what i have said, as everyone's story is different and with different circumstances. You are not alone.