myrnaminkoff
New Here
Hey there. I've never been officially diagnosed with ptsd, but I'm pretty sure I have it, due to childhood/teenage traumas. Hopefully on here I can figure out what the hell is wrong with me and talk to like-minded people.
I'm 23, I'm female, I cook for a living. When I was 11, my mom died after a slow struggle with cancer. I found her body. I never really talked about that with anybody. My dad and I were both pretty messed up, and I started to do badly in school. He beat the crap out of me a few times for relatively minor things.
I ran away when I was 13, because I hadn't done my homework and knew I was going to get it when the school called home. I went to the psych ward after the cops found me. My dad had told me I should never talk to shrinks, really, because either they would accuse him of sexual abuse (well, it was physical and verbal, but never that) and I would get taken away from my younger sisters and never see them again.
I saw a few shrinks in high school, they diagnosed me with depression and "impulsive behavior" and eventually ADD, but I was way too scared to talk to them very much about what had been going on in my life. I left home at 18, and I've more or less supported myself since then, but I've been homeless on and off for years, and I've been dealing with heroin addiction and alcoholism.
Nowadays, I have a house, a full-time job and I've been off dope for about a year, but I still have these random panic attacks and/or crying jags where I am simply useless for days. I really want to talk to people that have been through similar things, and I know I need professional therapy but I don't know where to start.
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
I'm 23, I'm female, I cook for a living. When I was 11, my mom died after a slow struggle with cancer. I found her body. I never really talked about that with anybody. My dad and I were both pretty messed up, and I started to do badly in school. He beat the crap out of me a few times for relatively minor things.
I ran away when I was 13, because I hadn't done my homework and knew I was going to get it when the school called home. I went to the psych ward after the cops found me. My dad had told me I should never talk to shrinks, really, because either they would accuse him of sexual abuse (well, it was physical and verbal, but never that) and I would get taken away from my younger sisters and never see them again.
I saw a few shrinks in high school, they diagnosed me with depression and "impulsive behavior" and eventually ADD, but I was way too scared to talk to them very much about what had been going on in my life. I left home at 18, and I've more or less supported myself since then, but I've been homeless on and off for years, and I've been dealing with heroin addiction and alcoholism.
Nowadays, I have a house, a full-time job and I've been off dope for about a year, but I still have these random panic attacks and/or crying jags where I am simply useless for days. I really want to talk to people that have been through similar things, and I know I need professional therapy but I don't know where to start.
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
