I Don't Really Know What To Do Anymore...

[breatheme]

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. He was deployed in Iraq from 2006-2008. Last year he was diagnosed with PTSD and I have been having a hard time with it. When he was finished with his deployment and came home, he wasn't the same man he was when he left. Although, from time to time, I will see a little spark of the old him. We have been on a roller coaster ride together and I feel so alone. He seems so cold, has no emotions, no feelings. He is very private and keeps everything bottled up. He gets angry easily and has bad anxiety. If I ever want to talk about our issues, he gets mad and shuts down. He never opens up and I feel like I am more emotional now that he isn't. He refuses to talk to someone or take medication for it. I feel like I am the only person in this relationship and am hoping this website will help me. Since he's gotten back, all he wants to do is party because he feels like he missed out on so much when he was gone. I guess I am looking for some advice or something...

Thanks for your time.

 

[amethist]

Hi breathme

Welcome to the forum.

Feel free to read all the information for carers, you can and ask questions about anything you are unsure of.

Come across to the carers section, where you will find a lot of carers in a similar situation.

Good luck and take care.

Amethist

 

[Charon]

The best thing for him honestly is to get him to the Veterans Affairs. Some guys get detached from what they saw/did over there, some guys cry a lot, most guys are pretty angry. I was pretty angry for a while, like on the verge of beating someone up angry. I'd get really pissed off at really trivial things, like my friend being a back seat driver (I was ready to put my fist through his face).

The sooner he gets signed up with the VA the better. It takes some guys decades to admit that they need to get some care. Every time I visit the VA there is almost always some old vet from 'Nam or Korea, sometimes even WW2 there with usually their daughter (who has finally twisted the arm of their father enough) or their wives who have seen what their husbands got turned into by war. As far as him catching up on partying, well, I'm not saying he is, but he wouldn't be the first vet to drink to forget.

 

[shiraz]

Hi Breatheme,

I have PTSD and I know that without support and therapy I would not be starting to feel again - it takes time .... I hope he gets the help he needs.

In the meantime, well done on looking for help for yourself, you will find it here.

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry you are going through this.

:Hug_emoticon:
Shiraz

 

[LilBird]

I have much of the same situation. I have tears for you, sweetheart. As I was reading your post it was as if I was reading about my own husband, verbatim. Does this site allow a way to talk in private to particular members?

 

[amethist]

Hi Lilbird

There is a private messaging system set up and chat rooms. Once you are out of moderation you will have access to both of these.

Amethist

 

[pebbels]

Hello Breatheme:hello:
Welcome to the forum, i really feel for you and know exactly how you are feeling. The best thing you can do is look after YOU.

Your boyfriend really needs to get some help and until he does nothing is going to change.

Read all you can and as suggested pop over to the carers section where you will find helpful advice and lots of support.

All the best Breatheme:Hug_emoticon:

Pebs