I Don't Think I Belong Here.

[Yunie]

I haven't posted in awhile...I really miss my vet, but I'm finally understanding that he wasn't good for me...he made me feel lower than low. I asked him to watch a movie with me...and he acted like I may as well have cut out some organ. I finally told my mom that one of my problems with me my ex/vet was that he said that sex wasn't important in a relationship...it was a perk.. I would ask him for sex and he would make me wait for hours...upon hours...and even then would say I was being selfish. My mom said I was probably over sexed...I don't think I'm over sexed! I wanted sex with my boyfriend once a couple weeks. They both made me feel like a horrible person for wanting to feel intimate.

 

[Yunie]

I'm at the point where I understand my circumstances...but I'm very lonely.

 

[angrypanda]

I'm at the point where I understand my circumstances...but I'm very lonely.

I completely understand the lonely part. I have a loving husband and a best friend who would do anything for me. But in the end neither can truly understand what I'm feeling or experiencing. Still spend most nights of terror alone. That's why we come here, where we're not alone and we can be heard. ;)

 

[Yunie]

I feel like a fraud to be posting here, but I will to see if I feel better. I had a good childhood. My w...

Hey, it has been awhile. I really missed this

 

[innistrad]

My worst years were my preteen years. My little sister had total control of me. She constantly beat me. It feels ridiculous to say because she is so much younger than I am, but in some ways, that was worse because I wasn't allowed to restrain or retaliate against her. I was always in trouble. My friends and some of my family supported me, but when I brought up to my mom she would get angry and say sarcastic remarks like "oh you have it soooo rough." Some times when I tried to just ignore her and let her beat me she would stare at me and start hitting and scratching herself so mom would think I did it.

I just wanna let you know that I went through something similar. My sister (who raised me) got knocked up and had a kid when I was 9, and from that day until I moved out at 19, he could do anything. Tear up my personal belongings, take my sentimental items (of which I had few, I was very poor. He had plenty of toys/books/clothes from his rich grandma), spit on me, scream at me, call me names, punch me, whatever. If I told him no or asked people not to let him into my room or not to tear up my favorite items I got screamed at. I had to just sit there and let him hit me. If my sister loaned me something and he decided he wanted it, it was a constant chorus of screaming and threatening, especially from her huge husband, until I gave him what they wanted. God forbid I sound frustrated at him or even snap. She wasn't a very good mother to him-- he constantly smelled and lived in filth because she wouldn't make him wash or clean up after himself.

I suspect it had something to do with her bizarre religious views concerning me and her kids. Their relationship, last I saw, was strangely handsy and makes me uncomfortable to watch.

But yeah, you're not alone!