I Don't Want to Deal With People Today

[Moonshadow]

When I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, the doctor referred me to an osteopath, for a consultation on diet, supplements, etc., that may help me feel better.

The doctor's office called this morning, and asked if I could make it in today. I reluctantly said, "Yes", but I'm starting to regret it. I really really don't feel like leaving my house today.

I don't want to drive or talk to people. I don't want to hear a condescending doctor, telling me all the things I'm doing wrong, that make me feel so awful.

I'm trying not to let the anxiety get to me, but the closer it comes, the more anxious I feel. Even right now, there are a dozen things I should be doing, and I cannot focus on any of them. I find myself just standing, staring at the wall.

It's all so frustrating.

 

[anthony]

The best thing you can do when like this... is exactly to push yourself out the door and do something outside the house, requires walking, going somewhere, having to talk with people. Doesn't matter how you long you start with... but some is better than none daily.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Anthony is right! I started out just like you are now and now I am agoraphobic. It was a slow process for me with no one really watching my progress into isolation. Get a
handle on it now before you do end up isolated.

I know it is easier said than done, believe me. Been there, done that, got the Tshirt

Even if you just walk around outside for a little while. Get out daily. That's what
my T. use to tell me. In fact, he made it a rule for me. I had to walk outside
daily. Did not even matter if I went any where, I just had to walk out the door.
Believe me when I tell you that at the beginning even that was really, really hard.
You can do it. I know, because you are in the early stages. Don't let your life slip from your grip and you end up isolated like I am

 

[2quilt]

Yes, get some sunshine on your face!

 

[Cindy]

I isolate and get like this frequently.

Some of the things I "push" myself to do are:

go to a public park and watch people

go to a mall or store and browse

go to a diner and get a cup of coffee and an english muffin

sit outside in the sunshine and write in my journal

go to a museum or aquarium

go to the public library

go to a city, town, village you enjoy and walk the main street

go to an antique store or flea market


All of these things don't necessarily cause you to interact with people but give you a new space to be in and a different perspective on what you can do with your time other than sitting around stewing and winding up.

Hope all went OK today.

Cindy

 

[Moonshadow]

I get outside on warm days. This winter was very harsh, and we've only just begun having nice weather. I love to be outside, on my own property. We have a big garden and lots of room.

It's being out in public that I sometimes dread. Some days it doesn't bother me at all, and other days I just can't handle it.

I forced myself to go, today. It wasn't nearly as bad as I dreaded, but I still found it difficult.

The doctor I saw suggested that I go back into therapy.
I stopped going about 14 months ago. I had finally had a good week, and at the end of the session, the T said, "You're done. You don't need to come back."

I certainly didn't feel done, but what do you say when your T dumps you?

Now, I just feel stuck. I don't want to go back to that T, as she obviously can't help me. I also don't want to start all over again with someone new.

 

[cypher]

I have not gotten out at all really for the past 6 or 7 months. I'de just go to work, come home and ________? Fill in the blank. Do nothing really. I did'nt go outside, I did'nt get outside at all except to get to my car and drive to and from work. I like to read, but hav'nt read anything lately. I know I need to do this to get on with life.
The past week though changed everything. With passing out at work, though they didnt find anything wrong, it was anxity/stress related, I am not allowed to drive untill I see my doctor again later. This has forced me to bike or walk to work. It's probally about 5 or 6 miles away, and recently the weather has been quite nice.
With this sudden change I was forced into has gotten me outside and physically active again. It's quite nice, I feel a little better, and hopefully it will help me to get out and do more.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I find myself isolating more and more also. I go to work, go shopping (if I have to) and go home. I dread being out if I don't need to be. I look for excuses to not go out. I don't mingle with people anymore. I don't do the things that I used to do. If I never had to go out again....I would be happy.

I am not suffering from Agoraphobia either. I just don't want to be out, I don't want to be with people. I just want to be alone.

So I do understand the not wanting to go out.

 

[fin]

Hey Moon so you know, I have read your posts here and some others in this thread, and I want to say...well done you got out of your comfort zone. And while I can see some worry and concern over your T dumping you, I am doing all my therapy here on this forum...so you know. I am pushing myself in the real world, more than I would like but it can be done...

You may well be through this point, I know this was written some time ago, but I dont think it maybe hurts to be reminded or even congratulated for something and you did this well. You are stronger than maybe you know, this is good stuff Moon. And that "no people dealing days" I get those many of us do...you are very not alone in this, it takes us knowing when and how hard to push through Moonshadow, it is uncomfortable, but stepping through that barrier that we have will help us I am sure of that.

This uncomfortable boundary pushing will help you move away from some of what holds you back I believe. I thnk it will also help to lessen the anxiety some, I think it helps to desensitize us, and that has got to be good for bringing down stress levels. I hope that what I am writing can still be of help to you , even if it only reminding you again of things that you maybe already know, but might have forgotten a little.

So I wanted to congratulate you and also remind you of what it is you are doing...so you know.

You are doing good ok


~fin

oh and you reminded me I had to take something also...so it works for both of us. I do understand constant physical pain. I think some of my shutting down to trauma helps in some weird way iin shutting down to the pain, but I know I have to address it so...