I Feel "given Up On"

[desiderata310]

Whoosh! Ok. For starters, EMDR. Is super crazy hard on both you and the therapist and if they aren't all the way through the program they shouldn't be touching that stuff.

You said you felt like it was working? Why do you say that? I could tell it was working for me as well but it left me in a very unstable spot for days after. I tried for a while to just hang on by my fingernails and that didn't work. It wound up me standing at the edge of the rabbit hole and holding a fist full of pills. Not a pretty place. Now we are working to get me to a really stable spot with some degree of self soothing (which I've been working on a good bit solo) so that we can go back to working on EMDR again. The way my therapist described it, we have to build a 'base'. I don't have one where most of his trauma patients do. We have to build one so that we can find some way to make it safe for me. Then the work we are going to do isn't going to start with the really hard stuff. We are going to start on something less charged.

That said, EMDR still scares the living shit out of me and rightly so. We are going to having to back into it really slowly and carefully so that I don't fall off into flashbacks(which consistently happened when we did it before)

I felt "given up on " as well when my therapist came in and said not EMDR but honestly it was a good thing. It's taken.. Three months since our last EMDR for me to get back to sleeping most every night and something like 8 months for my suicidal urges to go down to a dull roar(yep, I was suicidal during EMDR... Really not a good idea)

Finally, and most importantly, trusting your therapist is probably the most important part. I have had trouble building up a trust for mine. Not a rapport but trust... Also, big difference for some folks. Huge difference for me.

There are other methods out there that aren't as taxing on the psyche. Hang in there

Anyway, I hope this is... Helpful?

Oh and about chat: personally, I try bit I can't do it. I get anxious

 

[quietone]

No, I can't say why she thought it wasn't working for me. I thought I was the judge of that. When they called today to "remind" me of my appointment with my new t, I simply told the lady that I never agreed to that, and that I was unclear as to why my other t passed me off. She said she would have her call me for clarification. She never did, the coward. Now I don't feel I could go back to her even if she apologized. The trust has already been broken.

 

[desiderata310]

Hold on. She didn't call yesterday. Give her a chance to get back to you. These are still humans with things they have to do outside the office. Who knows what things she had to attend to yesterday.bor the secretary may not have passed on the message.
If you don't hear back by late afternoon, call again.