i feel like im losing my mind everyday all the time, anyone have an idea whats wrong with me?

[hope4us]

i just cannot function anymore. i cant think straight. i cant remember anything. im always distracted by everything. if i get started on one thing, within the first minute im already distracted by something else, than something distracts me from that. my mood swings are completely crazy. i have very intense emotions, much more intense than normal. im ALWAYS losing EVERYTHING so im always looking for my stuff, than as soon as i find one thing... i find out another thing is missing and ive gotta search for that. i feel like a total lunatic. like ive lost my mind. literally. i constantly have nightmares and wake up yelling. im very paranoid. sometimes i wonder if im skitzaphrenic. but i DONT constantly hear voices and talk back to them. i cant focus on anything ever. it takes me half the day to drive to the store down the road and grab a few things. i feel so beyond dumb. like my mind is not there anymore. i dont have the money to see a psychiatrist right now. can anyone relate? ideas whats wrong with me? how to help?

 

[TruthSeeker]

Sorry you are feeling out of control. Been there, done that at my worst w PTSD-and now feel I'm sliding back that way a bit with this virus issue. Have you been diagnosed with PTSD? How does the world around you appear? Clear.....foggy. You forgetting things related to time like burning stuff on the stove, not keeping track of time, or walking into a room for something...several times....and not knowing why you are there or getting a drink-soda/tea and looking for it....and you forgot where it is...got to get another one till you find it...? Everyone forgets the car keys, and occasionally loses them.....Is your house all disorganized? If your space is disorganized, and you are feeling like shit is out of control, if you let it go.....it will likely get worse (basing that on my experience) and you might consider taking control....starting with your space and routines.

1. Organize your space if you've let things go. You can't find stuff in a shithole (I know).....so don't expect to.
2. If Covid 19 news (or other news) jacks your anxiety up, stay away from it. If things appear foggy-like...you need to work on grounding (see grounding somewhere in this forum, along with memory techniques)
3. Watch only comforting non-triggering shows on TV. and do things to lower stress (fun things that make you feel good inside-sing, listen to music, art, fish..dancing.whatever)
4. Exercise in the morning every day (not right before bed)...exercise helps with sleep. Exercise before bed can keep you awake.
5. Stay away from people who are upsetting.....doesn't matter who they are.....consider backing away until you get in a better space.
5. Make a reasonable written schedule of must do things each day (things like...bill paying, make a meal, take meds, get food, organize or clean an area in a room, etc.) then reward yourself for getting what's on your list done (a video game, a 1/2 hr comedy, a fav show, whatever rocks your boat). They have apps for making schedules...and following through.
6. Organize all your $, credit card, ID, spare keys in one location and keep essentials in a predictable place. Make this a priority especially if you aren't feeling safe in any way.
7. Take prescribed meds on time, stop all screen time 2 hrs before bed, and create a sleep schedule...in bed same time each night. If you aren't getting enough sleep....you can't expect to remember shit. If you are adding "self-medication" to the mix....that probably won't help with the memory, either.
8. Find something you like to do that is calming....playing video games, putting together a puzzle, drawing, cooking something special (I have perfected homemade pizza-took lots of dough and many tries), writing a song or play an instrument, get a project that is fun.....to redirect your attention away from your anxiety. Take a drive and get out of the house with a cameras if that is appealing...deer are out in force, as are birds, and other critters (I'm keeping my germs to myself and doing car photography on back roads)..but getting out of the house for me makes a huge difference.
8. I can't say enough about routines....making a schedule will help you create a daily routine. Without organization and a routine.....memory has a much harder time doing it's job.....recalling what you are suppose to do, where you are going, and where you put things.

The current Covid-19 issue has changed my routine drastically. I had a schedule....3-4 times a week at the gym doing aqua aerobics, specific times to work online and write, in person therapy appointments all screwed up.... as a result, forgetfulness is up too, and all the little inconveniences are irritating me. I had the most wonderful travel plans for March, May, July, and Sept.....and now I am stuck in the one place I don't want to be-home. My point....an awful lot of change is going on....and that is rattling the normies...so expect to get rattled if you have PTSD. But there are many proactive things you can do to minimize anxiety.

 

[osiris]

Sorry you are feeling like this @spuntfaround
Most of it sounds very familiar, so please know you aren’t alone.
Welcome to the forums. Lots of good people who know what they are talking about and can help you feel supported and listened to.

 

[Teamwork]

Would really encourage you to take a few things from Truthseekers list and do them. Come back and tell us how it went. I got a lot too from the list. It is a great help to hear from others what they are doing, have done and how they are currently doing. focus too on reassuring yourself that you will get through this one hour at a time. I find it helps me a lot when I am losing things to be more mindful. My big thing is to heat up a coffee, not drink it, misplace it, spend a lot of time looking for it. Sometimes even drinking it and then looking for it not realizing I drank it. Or leaving it in the microwave and then hunting through the house for it. When this happens I check in with myself on how I am doing with attention to what I am doing. I now set a timer and do the task in front of me and keeping myself from wandering away from it And getting nothing done at all because of all the wandering around. Mindfulness and tapping have helped me a lot. Nick Ortner has put a video out that I did the other day with tremendous relief. It was a five minute tapping exercise to release anxiety about the virus. the biggest step you have already taken is to to be able to describe what life is like for you. It means that you are aware of how things are going. One thing we are doing in our home right now is cleaning up our space and remaking it. We cleaned the front hall and redesigned the area as a mini gym. It is nothing more than taking all the hand weights, stretch bands, and exercise equipment and centralizing them on a shelf with nothing else in the area, making it our own personal gym. I’ve been cleaning my bedroom in small chunks. clothing one afternoon, bedding the next. Washed half the floor and one side of the room washed the wall. there is no shortage of cleaning to be done in homes right now as people discover they have a lot of time to do things that they didn’t have time or energy for before all this happened.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Would really encourage you to take a few things from Truthseekers list and do them. Come back and tell us how it went. I got a lot too from the list. It is a great help to hear from others what they are doing, have done and how they are currently doing. focus too on reassuring yourself that you will get through this one hour at a time. I find it helps me a lot when I am losing things to be more mindful. My big thing is to heat up a coffee, not drink it, misplace it, spend a lot of time looking for it. Sometimes even drinking it and then looking for it not realizing I drank it. Or leaving it in the microwave and then hunting through the house for it. When this happens I check in with myself on how I am doing with attention to what I am doing. I now set a timer and do the task in front of me and keeping myself from wandering away from it And getting nothing done at all because of all the wandering around. Mindfulness and tapping have helped me a lot. Nick Ortner has put a video out that I did the other day with tremendous relief. It was a five minute tapping exercise to release anxiety about the virus. the biggest step you have already taken is to to be able to describe what life is like for you. It means that you are aware of how things are going. One thing we are doing in our home right now is cleaning up our space and remaking it. We cleaned the front hall and redesigned the area as a mini gym. It is nothing more than taking all the hand weights, stretch bands, and exercise equipment and centralizing them on a shelf with nothing else in the area, making it our own personal gym. I’ve been cleaning my bedroom in small chunks. clothing one afternoon, bedding the next. Washed half the floor and one side of the room washed the wall. there is no shortage of cleaning to be done in homes right now as people discover they have a lot of time to do things that they didn’t have time or energy for before all this happened.

@Teamwork When I get to forgetting excessively....I stop....step back....and write no more than 5 things on a piece of paper to do....and then I arrange them in order to do from quickest to more time consuming....absolutely no more than 5 pieces of typing paper with a job on each.....laying on the floor....and for some reason....putting them on the floor in a place that I walk a lot helps to keep me motivate to finish. I pick the order to do them in and accomplish one thing at a time....then I crumble the paper up that tells the job, in a ball and try making it a basket in the trash (this would work well with family chores too motivating kids to clean up....and play basketball at the same time). Turning the music on kinda loud, singing and sometimes dancing helps sometimes, too. Making a game of getting things accomplished takes the edge off of what initially seems as woeful boring.chores....and makes it an accomplished daily task.....helping make it more satisfying I guess....But when I'm done....I always can feel a weight lifted and my stress reduced...and then feel I deserve to watch a good show or do something fun without guilt or "weight of a list of things" waiting.....till tomorrow. Keeping things picked up also helps when I do forget where I put something....they are incredibly much easier to find!

And yes...lost in the microwave....done that one a lot....PLUS lost in the fridge....something that doesn't need cooling.....and reading glasses lost everywhere I don't need to read. Yep....frustrating when really symptomatic.....kinda funny when I stand back and look at it....and write it out....and am not so symptomatic.

 

[Whirlwind]

Spuntfurond,

I am perplexed why you have been posting for months now and asking the same questions over and over again. Given today's question it appears you are not taking any steps towards helping yourself.

Have you called any of the resources you have been given several times by several people? Again, here are some of the resources to start with -

National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1-800-799-7233
Get Immediate Help | MentalHealth.gov

I feel for you and I do not mean to be harsh but no one here can diagnose you or help you if you don't help yourself.

Best,

Whirlwind

 

[TruthSeeker]

Spuntfurond,

I am perplexed why you have been posting for months now and asking the same questions over and over again. Given today's question it appears you are not taking any steps towards helping yourself.

Have you called any of the resources you have been given several times by several people? Again, here are some of the resources to start with -

National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1-800-799-7233
Get Immediate Help | MentalHealth.gov

I feel for you and I do not mean to be harsh but no one here can diagnose you or help you if you don't help yourself.

Best,

Whirlwind

Good advice there @Whirlwind.

 

[The Albatross]

What do YOU think is wrong with you?

 

[ToriAirplane]

This sounds to me like high anxiety, or possibly PTSD if you've recently experienced something traumatic that you can't get over. And it sounds like this has caused some ADD. Can't focus because you're so anxious, maybe feeling like there's something else you should be doing..don't know where to start with anything you try to do, start then think of something else you need to do real quick, can't figure out what you should be doing at all or you know what to do but keep forgetting while distracting yourself with doing little things like sweeping or making your bed(just examples from my exp.), then even when you've done everything, that feeling that there's something you're missing, you feel stressed and so overwhelmed you could cry, any little thing you forget or mistake you make makes you feel like an idiot, feel like you can't get one thing done or do wanting right & when you do it's "not like you did anything important"? Any of this sound familiar? If you've been through something that makes you feel despair or deep sadness, like the loss of a close friend or a death, or if there's just something you're insanely worried about, this could be causing your anxiety. Or maybe an existential crisis, an overwhelming feeling that you should be doing something bigger, something to improve the world. Or, a general panic about the state of the world, because it is freaking terrifying. Or if you've started a new medication, could be that. Just throwing out ideas, seeing if any of it sounds like what you're going through. Once you know what's wrong, you can start to help yourself calm down. There is definitely high anxiety in the mix. You should go to the doc and show them what you wrote in that post, that's a better description than anyone could give in person, I always forget to mention things to my doc so I write everything down.

But like many said before, posting on here isn't helping unless you come just to talk to people who know what you're going through. Nothing's gonna get better until you get professional help.