I feel like my issues are too complex to recover from

[Deleted member 39476]

Seemed to be pointed at the validation thing, so sorta missed the point

He's just incorrect. Do I like validation? yes. When I put emphasis on the severity of the condition am I doing it to bait validation? No. Am I doing it to compete with others for a who is the most mentally ill trophy? No. It's actually relevant information. Lots of people are probably worse off than me but can still do certain things, I'm not them. Lots of people are healthier than me that can't write clearly, I'm not them. Lots of tolerance strategies break down under conditions like a panic attack, most of them broke for me due to my heightened level of stress. So some things that are good for others are bad for me. The last thing I want to hear when I say that I can't use something do to my stress level is "other people with a higher stress level can use them!" I can't. End of story.

 

[Hojay]

You're completely missing the point.

When I put emphasis on the severity of the condition am I doing it to bait validation? No. Am I doing it to compete with others for a who is the most mentally ill trophy? No.

None of those things were said. You're not "baiting" validation. I don't think this is a game to you. But you're dismissing anything and all that doesn't validate the fact that your case is exceptionally severe in order to keep up the scaffolding of our distorted cognition about your condition. Nobody here is going to support you in that.

You're also not competing with others. To the contrary, I don't think you give a hoot about what others have experience or how they've coped. This isn't about other people for you. The fact that you set yourself apart and don't compare yourself to them is part and parcel of your distorted view of your condition.

The last thing I want to hear when I say that I can't use something do to my stress level is "other people with a higher stress level can use them!"

This also wasn't said. It doesn't matter what others in your position are capable of doing. This is about your distorted view of being a uniquely untreatable case and how that view -- I.e. seeing yourself as more severe and separate from others in your position -- may be the very belief system that is keeping you stuck in place.

And again I will say, I don't invalidate the fact that you're suffering. I have no interesting in badgering you or making you feel worse, but you came on here to get a question answered. Is your condition to complex to be treated. My approach here? Taking a look at why you'd think that in the first place. So take it or leave it.

 

[Neverthesame]

And what we keep saying is....

We get it. Many of us, myself included. Used to sit there like you are now and say. "Breathing exercises are garbage!", "medication is garbage!", "Exercise is garbage!", "Psychiatry is garbage!", "Nothing works!" "Nobody is listening!" "They just keep saying the same garbage, over and over!"
"Everything is garbage!"

It took time, effort, and practice! For me, me ok me. To finally realise that the only thing that was f*cking garbage, was my shitty attitude!
Once I got over myself, then actually started putting the damn work in to help myself. That's when it started getting better.

That! Is what many of us are saying to you!

You can either sit there and shit on everyone who tries to help you, or you can open your damn ears and actually listen.

I don't think you are a troll, or trying to piss anyone off, but unless your attitude starts changing, you might as well be. As it is I'm bloody done with you.

It's up to you to decide whether you want to try and improve, or just keep convincing yourself that it's hopeless.

The way you're going at it now, isn't helping you now is it?

Oh, and it's not f*cking faking it or maintenance either. When you learn to control your anxiety and depression.
It's better! You feel better! You gain the ability to control how you feel!
When you can halt a panic attack Before you are worn out and exhausted. You can get back to doing whatever it was your symptoms interrupted. Ie: live your life again.


You decide what you want.

 

[scout86]

And now, for something completely different....

Welcome to the forum! I hope you stick around. Totally serious, I don't do sarcasm. You might want to consider starting a diary, I think a lot of people find that helpful, for a lot of reasons.

For what it's worth, my T says the only reason the DSM exists is to make it easier to fill out insurance forms. People don't actually fit into neat diagnostic boxes most of the time. Most things that get called "mental illnesses" aren't as neat and tidy as a case of measles. I'm sure you already know that.

People have traits of a lot things. I don't honestly see anything that makes me think "borderline" with you and there are some common "borderline-ish" things that usually send me running for the hills. But, "what ever".

I hope you'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other, because I think, at some point, you're going to realize you've made progress.

Also for what it's worth, I guess, personally, I haven't gotten the impression that you think you worse off than other people. If you've said anything that made that kind of comparison, I missed it. What I've heard is that it seems like nothing's working, you're having a hard time believing it will, and you've come up with a lot of intellectual reasons to support your belief. You said yourself that intellectualizing is a go to defense for you, so that totally makes sense. Just keep plugging away. You didn't get to where you are over night, you won't get to where you want to be over night either.

 

[Neverthesame]

Welcome to the forum! I hope you stick around.

I wanted to come back to say that despite my frustration, I do agree 100% with this.

I hope very much that you can find help here, I really, really do. No sarcasm from me either.

 

[Ms Priss]

One thing that I am thinking is...terminal uniqueness. I can do this to myself now...oh. it's too late for me; this is impossible; and that can go on and on and on. Usually when I am doing that, I am comparing myself to what normal would be in my mind and that results is hopelessness and helplessness and self-hatred and on and on and on. It is simply me defeating me.

Also, keep it simple, sweetie cause I can complicate anything. So I do so much reading and research and such...but what it is is intellectualizing and straight up avoidance...dissociation. All it results in is me spinning my wheels and doing nothing but staying stuck or going backwards. And leaves me even more confused than I really am.

So I need to develop a simple plan that I can commit to and follow...and, yes, at this time I need outside help to do that. At the same time I need to limit what I put into my mind at this time. My mind is overloaded so I need to simplify; big time and not feel ashamed about it.

Also the help available in this rural area and my finances, leave a lot to be desired. However, I need to settle down and use what is there to my advantage.

So to me whether one is 21 or 66, it all comes down to the same thing.

I could be wrong, but I think you are feeling no one is hearing what you are saying.

Anyway, in the quest to simplify, I need to limit the time I spend here...it is not the site...it is me...I get too overwhelmed with too much info some of which is retraumatizing me or too many conflicting opinions which leaves me confused. Again it is not the site; it is where I am at this time.

 

[Sideways]

He didn't it was untreatable just that it would be difficult, expensive, risky, and take a long time, all things that are completely true.

This! Hooray!

Let this sink in.

Your T has categorically told you that your condition is treatable. He has also told you: you are going to have to work for it. That’s what he said: difficult, expensive, risky, time-consuming.

What he is definitely not saying is: best course is to sit tight and wait for the miraculous internal or external shift, like getting a girlfriend, or suddenly finding self-acceptance.

So, you’ve canned pretty much every suggestion on how to work towards your own recovery to date, relying on some pretty common cognitive distortions. Maybe now is the time to start revisiting all of the recovery options that you have previously canned, with a slightly more open mind, and keep trying. It will be difficult and time-consuming for you to do these things. Know that in advance, do it anyway.

Because regardless of whatever any of us think? Your T seems to think that you’re in for a fight to get better. Start fighting, yeah?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

can't do very much without being a whole person.

I used to want to be a whole person when I first started therapy when I just turned thirty.

I think you have it in you to fight for yourself as you have stayed here as long as you have, but for now just have this false hope to be a whole person magically with out doing your part in helping you because you cannot do it at this time.

You presented as someone who was looking for what exactly?
ge
Until you hit bottom in your despair and brokenness I do think you will remain stuck.

You do not seem to be listening right now to anything suggested. You are so seemingly stuck and I wish you well but am done reading through this. Whenever you think that you really will find and get some help and begin to listen really listen with your heart, you will remain for years as a victim wanting someone to rescue you and clean up your mess. Good luck with that.

 

[EveHarrington]

I wanted to come back to say that despite my frustration, I do agree 100% with this.

I hope very...

Welcome?

Please go look in his history. He pulled the same thing in a thread a few months ago, refusing to listen to anyone’s advice. This is why I called troll. He does the same thing repeatedly, refusing to take in advice, rejecting help that is offered to him.

Point being, this is a forum where people get REAL and this guy doesn’t actually want to listen, he just wants to argue.

Welcome, I guess, but maybe the other forums out there that just agree with you would be a better fit.

The ongoing pattern of refusing help will get him nowhere.

That thread was many pages long, too.

He’s getting many responses because he’s acting like a toddler and throwing a fit. Wouldn’t it be nice if other threads got this much of a response? This guy is nothing but UNGRATEFUL and doesn’t even want our help. It’s just sad that we focus on him while there are many threads out there that get few to no responses. Maybe I should just start arguing with everyone who gives me help and tell them that I can’t use their help because it doesn’t apply to me, just so all of my threads asking for help can be 10+ pages long.

 

[ninja]

Thanks for sticking at it. Hmm. What do you mean by whole?
I will let the approach thing go, but I do see that perhaps you might still be interested in learning about cognitive styles leading to personality types, which unfortunately has been done a disservice to by pop-psych, but it really interesting and has some depth if you cite from the original source/s. Perhaps it can provide another perspective to what is happening for you, and understand why it might be from an approach that isn't going to suggest you must process trauma right away to become better. It's more like, doing so just falls out of the process of trying to become who you want to be. And because it often happens rather naturally usually the coping mechanisms and degree inner-compassion for oneself are (sometimes just barely) enough. I've appreciated it because it helps to make trauma processing rather matter-of-fact, not the be all end all... and I also know I will have something to work on for the rest of my life and a few ideas about how to continue growing which is a comfort.

If every other part of you was corrupted by the monster what would happen?
I understand this is a fear that cannot be "thought-away" with specific techniques. I am sorry it is there for you as it sounds just horrible.

Whether you have attachment to the negative manifestation of your complexity via your mental health difficulties or not, your individuality is yours. It can't be taken from you.
You do not think more relational support could be beneficial? You wouldn't have to talk about the depth of your issues. Maybe just someone who is willing to be there and listen to whatever you want to speak about. Do you think any of the deep breathing or meditation kinds of strategies might work a little more fluidly if you had someone else around doing it along side of you? Take care.

 

[Sideways]

Please go look in his history.

Thank you for that.

Going over that history, the only therapy that you (OP) seem to have actually engaged with is IFS.

According to your threads, you started therapy mid 2016 starting briefly with EMDR then switching to IFS. Everything else you have tried (briefly) or written off.

In that time, you have gone from being able to work (Feb 2017), to not being able to work but still shopping and engaging with friends (Sept 2017) to your current state. Although, you have been describing 9/10 stress experienced 24/7 for that entire period.

I’m not bunking IFS, but it does seem to not be helping. A “shadowy figure” which you previously described, is now a “monster” which has you (apparently) at 5% function.

It seems to me that it would be prudent to invest some more time in things that you have not really committed to trying adequately yet (like meditation, exercise, yoga, and on and on), or perhaps trying treatments that you have consistently resisted thus far (medication options beyond anti-depressants, in-patient programs, cbt, dbt etc etc).

In your case, at this rate, you will be unable to get out of bed in a few months if you continue on your current course. That happens, and at that point? You get hospitalised regardless of what you want.

 

[scout86]

Welcome?

Yep, "welcome".

Just speaking for myself, mind you. My version of reality. No one else has to agree with it.

I'm operating on the theory that this is a person with potential who's stuck at the moment, and who is producing most of his own road blocks. (Or HER, because this IS the internet and who knows?) If I'm wrong, it doesn't cost me anything. If I'm right, my theory is that hanging around here will probably be useful for him in the end, when he's ready, willing, and able to get out of his own way. Anyone who doesn't want to engage with him is perfectly free not to, as always. I'm sure there will be days when I won't feel like it too, but today isn't one of those days.