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I feel lost

maybeiamabear

Confident
So since the past one week, I have been feeling very sleepy and drowsy. It could be because of my Ayurvedic meds or I don't know, there is a sudden lack of interest I feel in everything and just I want to keep sleeping. I did have a goal for myself for this month, to lost at least 5kg weight but I have fallen off the track. I just don't find the strength or reason to push myself more because since forever I have only lived with my abandonment wound and everyone just leaves. Because I am unloveable. If I were loveable, someone would stay - and just be there. I have been putting in the hard work in my self-healing journey but cannot the world be a little kinder for once? Because I feel tired and exhausted. I have tried my best and my best seems not enough. What do I do?
 
abandonment wound and everyone just leaves. Because I am unloveable.
Don’t abandon yourself. Calling yourself unloveable is self-betrayal. If you are looking to fill your abandonment wound with other people’s love you can attract someone who says all the right things and then turns on you once they have you hooked.

You can love yourself and hold yourself but it takes courage and hard work. Worth it though!
 
everyone just leaves. Because I am unloveable.
If I were loveable, someone would stay
Core Beliefs (& Cognitive Distortions)

I just don't find the strength or reason to push myself more because since forever I have only lived with my abandonment wound and everyone just leaves.
Core Belief(s)?
- life is only worth living / finding strength / being motivated if someone else… dot dot dot.
- I am not worth being motivated for, or living for, if I am on my own.


there is a sudden lack of interest I feel in everything and just I want to keep sleeping
Depression? or Illness? or Overwhelm & Avoidance (as a coping mechanism, to manage stress)? or???


I have tried my best and my best seems not enough.
Sense of foreshortened future.

(in reality, you probably have decades to be learning/mastering skills, meeting people & developing relationships, building a life you love… but the feeling is that this is the end, so if it hasn’t already happened &/or isn’t happening now? It will never happen.)

my abandonment wound
Abandonment Issues


What do I do?
From that short little paragraph ^^^those^^^ are 4+ great big areas to work on.
 
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