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I Feel So Alone - Beating My Head Against a Wall For Help

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Immora29

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My name is Nicole and I live in Ohio. What the Heck is PTSD anyways? I feel half the time I am going crazy in my head with thoughts. Im scared to leave my home and when I do I am Crazy Mad I am out and about. I can't sleep, I worry alot and I have humongo Control Issues. I don't work cuz when I do work my stress lvls go Sky high and I get so sick and I miss a lot of work. But In Ohio Im unable to get Medicaid cuz in there eyes im not sick enough. All I want to say is Live in my brain for just One day and then tell me im not eligilbe. Im also going through a huge Battle with SSI. All I want is help so I can live.. and right now I can't live without help. But no one listens. and the one person that does listen I just feel he will never understand what is truly going on in my head no matter how truthful and honest I am to him. People look at me like Im a disease. Ive lost friends along the way. How the heck am I suppose to deal with this? Where do I start? Ive seen a therapist went to groups and they kicked my out cuz I couldn't pay.. But my lawyer says I need to continue going.. How? When no one will help me. Im Toren! Im lost! Im in a crowded room Screaming at the top of my lungs for help and wanting the help,but no one in the room Cares. Why is that? What has happened? Did I change or did they?
 
Hi Immora,
Unfortunately, you live in the land of the, "pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get back in there" mindset. I was born in Salem, Ohio, and returned there for a few years as an adult. They're not due to catch on to what PTSD is for a few more years, so if you have the means, you might want to consider relocating to a state that doesn't have their minds in the 1900's.
It sounds to me like you're describing PTSD. If so, you need a good Doctor who understands AND helps you get help in a group setting, and you definitely DON'T need someone at home telling you it's just your imagination and forget it.
But, the good news is, you've arrived at the best place for support that I've found online, so get comfortable, read what other people are dealing with, and let it all soak in, you'll feel better after you see that it IS all in your mind, but that's where PTSD tears our lives apart from.
Respectfully,
WarHippy1%
 
Warhippy

Unfortunately, I am finding that out as I get older. I do have one question. Has anyone ever thought they were Bipolar? Cuz I think I am, and im not sure if PTSD and Bipolar have the same Symptoms or not. Plz Reply.

Immora
 
Well, it's normally quite the opposite, bipolar people usually think they have the tiger by the tail, they require very little sleep, another symptom that I always kinda appreciated was innapropriate sexual behaviour(somebody kick me), alot of famous artists were bipolar, they generally get alot done while in the manic mode. Then, they dip down into the depressed curve of the illness, some get overwhelmed by the depression, that's where the danger to self becomes apparent. most of the time, even after they get on medication that levels them out, they start feeling so good that they decide they can do life without the meds and they generally wake up recovering from the Haldol that they received to bring them out of the delusional episode brought on by stopping the meds.
Now, some info about your social security claim. One of their sickest policies is to automatically disapprove any mental claims the first time. That saves them alot of money because most people give up and go away after they get turned down. So, don't stop if you get denied, appeal it, and when you go for your physical revue, don't look your best for the appointment, look your worst. you're not trying to be rated on how good you can look, you're trying to be rated on how bad you feel in life, so dress accordingly. Just don't give up, if you're sick, they'll eventually approve it, and it's all backdated to , I think, 6 months after you originally applied. It's been 14 years since I jumped through their hoops so things might have changed.
Good Luck,
Respectfully,
WarHippy1%
 
Welcome aboard Nicole! You're starting on the right track!
 
Welcome aboard Nicole. Therapists love telling people with PTSD they are bipolar as well, because the symptoms actually are PTSD related, but they confuse those to think a person is bipolar also... the more diagnosis basically, the more medication they can prescribe, thus the more BS for you, the more money for them. Bipolar should not be diagnosed with uncontrolled PTSD, ever... a person if diagnosed with PTSD should only be diagnosed with PTSD until such time those symptoms are stable with medication or therapy, then if bipolar truly is present, it will show. So far, I think I have met one person who truly was bipolar with PTSD, the rest where misdiagnosed because once the trauma was healed, funnily enough, no more bipolar symptoms because PTSD was treated at the core, being the trauma level. Don't fall into the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread1097.html"]diagnosis trap[/DLMURL].

Now the real issues, being your frustration with support. It doesn't matter which state your in the US, because the entire US know about PTSD and support it, as do Australia, the UK and Canada, let alone most European countries also onboard nowadays. PTSD is a life threatening, debilitating illness, and is recognised for exactly that. It is more the people your approaching or the method taken in which is causing trouble. Not sure why you would have an issue with disability if you have a PTSD diagnosis from a physician stating such.
 
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Just a side note here to Anthony,
Too many people who work in government offices feel that someone's disability money is coming out of their own pockets, so they deny all but the most aggravated cases.
 
Hi Nicole - I am new here too. I wish the very best for you. I am just learning myself. There is help available. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Sorry it took me so long to reply, thanks for all the information Warhippy. Im actually on my 3 attempt for SSI this 3rd attempt I had to get a lawyer cuz the paperwork it self is very confusing to me. Im actually on the last stage which means im waiting for my hearing. Yea I don't think im Bipolar, I sleep ok, but have times of Insomnia, but Ive always had that problem. I hate having PTSD, its the hardest thing Ive ever had to figure out how to control. Just when I think I have it under control, BAM something bad happens and the symptoms come back ten fold and worse. and No medicine so far is working.. I need medicine for my Panic attacks, I need medicine for my depression, yet it doesn't help. Any reccemmendations on meds.. Ive pretty much taken everything up to Cymbolta. Right now im on Lexepro. Please answer.
 
Hi Nicole. I'm Hercules, HERC for short. I crawled through the dark hole of govt red tape you are now in. I was extremely blessed that I had support from all sides-work and family-to guide me through. I know how much it hurts to know something is wrong and yet no
one seems to "get it"! I can say that I headed for and got Social Security Disability rather than SSI.. I have never been able to get any where with that avenue But to get SSD you do need documentation from all md's involved I contacted the SS Admin and asked how to apply for SSD, paper and forms were sent to me, my md's, etc. and the rest is hiastory. The one thing that meant so much to me and helped easy the feeling of being useless was that all the mds involve with me filled out their papers and I was granted my disability. That was the most validating thing that has ever happened to me I know what it is like to not want to leave the house. The panic and anxiety attacks when at the store. My symptoms have never gone away. My meds only help BUT my therapy helped me realize 2 things. I will have breakthrough attacks but won't die from them AND when they happen--recognize what it is and allow myself to ride it out knowing that it will end. I truly feel that by allowing myself to have the attacks when they happen rather than fighting them has help not only lower the intensity of the attacks but also the frequency of them. I hope this has helped you in some way. Oh yea, has anyone told you about controlling your breathing during an attack and how much it helps? Let me know HERC
 
:hello: If you've worked a certain amount of "quarters" [you'd have to ask the Social Security Administration about what that means and if you have] you might possibly qualify for SSD....otherwise you're only able to go for SSI....I hear that they just automatically refuse at least the first try...Like someone else on the forum....the bastards just don't want to part with the money....going the route of a lawyer is most likely the better way to go if you've already been denied 3 times...They'll take a third of your back pay amount when you win.....I know for sure that you'll need to a Dr. statement with a PTSD diagnosis on it....if you are waiting for a hearing that means you'll probably have to talk to one of their docs first....Like War Hippy said...don't go looking wonderful....They need to know how bad the PTSD wreaks havoc on your life....The people involved in this process seem to be a lot of tightwads....the government money is there....but they'll be damned if they're going to part with it....I've heard that if it's a "mental" condition you're more likely to get it....Don't know that for sure....I wish you the best of luck....If you have a diagnosis of PTSD you more than deserve the funds IMHO....GOOD LUCK!!!! :rolleyes: ....SPREADING THE PEACE
 
If medications aren't helping you Nicole, you need to try alternative therapy, such as acupuncture, herbal treatments, yoga, meditation, etc etc... They are known to work, often better than medication itself. Meds are simply the quick and often cheaper alternative to natural medicine.
 
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