My name is Nicole and I live in Ohio. What the Heck is PTSD anyways? I feel half the time I am going crazy in my head with thoughts. Im scared to leave my home and when I do I am Crazy Mad I am out and about. I can't sleep, I worry alot and I have humongo Control Issues. I don't work cuz when I do work my stress lvls go Sky high and I get so sick and I miss a lot of work. But In Ohio Im unable to get Medicaid cuz in there eyes im not sick enough. All I want to say is Live in my brain for just One day and then tell me im not eligilbe. Im also going through a huge Battle with SSI. All I want is help so I can live.. and right now I can't live without help. But no one listens. and the one person that does listen I just feel he will never understand what is truly going on in my head no matter how truthful and honest I am to him. People look at me like Im a disease. Ive lost friends along the way. How the heck am I suppose to deal with this? Where do I start? Ive seen a therapist went to groups and they kicked my out cuz I couldn't pay.. But my lawyer says I need to continue going.. How? When no one will help me. Im Toren! Im lost! Im in a crowded room Screaming at the top of my lungs for help and wanting the help,but no one in the room Cares. Why is that? What has happened? Did I change or did they?