I genuinely wonder how my life would have turned out if I wasn’t so f*cked up.

[Luna_Moth]

About two years ago a veil and a rug have been pulled out from on top and under me. All my life I’ve been traumatized, but was made out to believe that there was something inherently bad or wrong with me as a child. My personality has been warped due to the trauma I dealt with as a child. I’ve had severe developmental delays and was labeled with ADHD when I didn’t have it. It turns out that my mental illnesses are from something far more tragic and sinister. They are so bad to the point I developed Complex-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve been traumatized so badly that it has affected everything in my life from my education, my mental health, my physical health, my career, my ability to form relationships, and my relationship with myself. I’ve shown signs of trauma since I was first able to form memories. My life has been destroyed because I went through something no child in their formative years should have to go through. Better yet, I don’t even know what happened. I was five when I first showed symptoms or at least that’s how far my memories go. It really makes me wonder what my life could have been if I wasn’t f*cked over.

 

[Survivor3]

What would you like to happen in your life now? Now that your in control of what you do and the choices that you make?

 

[arfie]

My life has been destroyed because I went through something no child in their formative years should have to go through.

i don't believe anybody of any age should go through the damages of child sex trafficking, but since i quit trying to rewrite my past, i have been able to build a life i am rather proud of, despite that dismal past. i also believe the journey from survivor to thriver has given me insights and serenity i could not have achieved any other way.

empathetic sorrow for your victimhood. prayers in progress that healing happens here. stay brave.

 

[shimmerz]

It really makes me wonder what my life could have been if I wasn’t f*cked over.

I am thinking on the same lines as @Survivor3 and am going to ask, have you learned to forgive yourself? With that in mind, can you make it your mission to live the life you want rather than the life your trauma paved for you? I know I have to forgive myself every day as I have people in my world sho attack me for not being normal, for not being able to hang out in crowds, for the limitations I have in my life due to the past I have endured. If nothing else, my goal from now until the day I keel is that I am committed to inner peace. I will not attack myself on top of all the other concessions I have had to make due to my past.

I used to say I would come back next life as a princess. A dear friend then reminded me of Princess Diana. Yep.... it can happen to any of us I guess. Best wishes to you are you work towards the existence you deserve rather than the existence that was foisted upon you.

 

[No More]

Sometimes, but I’ve let it go.

I’ve chosen to live to the fullest now. I don’t want to look back in 20 years time and think gee. I spent those 20 years so locked up in my brain about what I couldn’t do, when really the only thing stopping me doing it was me and my what ifs.

Just get on and do all the things