Relationship I Guess We Just Broke Up

[shimmerz]

It could well be because you are so level headed. He may feel very comfortable with you because you aren't reacting (I think) as if this is affecting you which may make you 'safe' to him. I liked your idea of having him come to you when you go out there to visit your friend and perhaps mentioning that there will be no pictures until all of the chaos (or confusion) stops. Just a thought. Not sure if it is right but thought I would throw it out there.

 

[Glara]

@shimmerz I'm most definately reacting but trying my hardest not to let him know. I'm afraid if he knew it would make him worse. It's hard to do that and set normal relationship boundaries. That's why I have to adjust what's in my head. He came on so strong initially, before I knew any of this. As for sending pics I do want to say something like that, I just have to figure out a way to word it.

If I am coming off as level headed it has a lot to do with this forum. Being able to explain what's going on and get responses is so helpful for me to know how I should act. Right now my head feels like it's going explode. I'm looking forward to work tomorrow so I'm forced to focus on something else.

 

[bell]

The coming on strong can mean he thought you were enough to change him. That he didn't change has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what you were an archetype of, someone that could save him, meaning that in reality, no one can live up to that fantasy.

In the end, he needs to change internally and not look to external causes to be the change. Because it's up to us to face our own battles, the presence of someone in our lives is not enough to tackle and heal PTSD.

That he thought you were someone who could change him means he cares about you a great deal, but may not be able to fully show it now and as long as he continues to be unwell.

 

[Glara]

Thanks everyone. I'm calling to look for my own counseling today. My stomach is in knots and I don't knwo what else to do. I texted him this morning to check in and make sure he's ok. He hasn't answered yet, so now I'm panicking that' he's not ok and that maybe our conversation yesterday made him worse. If I don't hear I'll text once again and then call psychiatric emergency services where he lives. I feel so sick.

 

[Glara]

He's ok, he texted and said he wants to call tonight.