I Had A Slip Up

[Astrid_Shadow]

Hey guys. It has not been one of my better nights. My mom and I got into it tonight about how I don't appreciate her enough and now shes not sure about bringing me to court on Saturday. Its an 8 hour trip so her company would have been appreciated. I have been having the hardest time showing care towards a lot of people these days, I have no idea whats going on I just feel...numb. Like my happiness is just gone. I should be happy about this court stuff I get to see my son after almost 5 years but honestly I'm not excited, normal people in my situation would feel some sort of emotion, happiness,excitement,nervousness but not me, strangely enough I don't really care. Theres only two people that can make me smile and thats my sister Kimmie and Anthony. To everyone else I've become an emotionless vessel. These words ring in my head in regards to my birth father "You are Stephan's kid after all" That's not a compliment by the way, that's the worst thing you can say to me. My father was never there for me and I'm starting to behave that way towards my mom. I don't know why I'm doing this...this is my last time reaching out...I injured myself tonight. I had been doing so well too...it had been months and I slipped up...why do I keep doing this? Is this part of ptsd? Pushing others away and hiding emotions to the point you become so numb you have to fake emotions

 

[Deadman]

Is this part of PTSD? Pushing others away and hiding emotions to the point you become so numb you have to fake emotions

For most of us, yes. It sounds very familiar.

Are you saying that this is your last time reaching out here, to your mother, or just anyone period?

 

[girlA]

Hi Astrid... It is all part of PTSD it's horrible! Some days are unbearable, and maybe the stress of upcoming long trip and court has triggered you to self harm...I hope you've looked after the wound... this will pass... your mum will surely not mean she won't take you...just a reaction statement.. tell her your sorry and you need her support... I'm sure it ll be fine...sending hugs your way. ..know I'm sat here with you

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

@Deadman To anyone in general.

@girlA Its too long a story but I've been this way with my mom for a long time. Unless I show I appreciate her this week she's not taking me and I'll have to bus my way there.

 

[Carmen J. Brown]

Hey guys. It has not been one of my better nights. My mom and I got into it tonight about how I d...

We are all here for you and I'm praying for you. I have felt (or lack thereof) the same thing.

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

@Carmen J. Brown So this is normal then?

 

[Carmen J. Brown]

@Carmen J. Brown So this is normal then?

For people with PTSD? Yes, it is.

 

[Carmen J. Brown]

@Carmen J. Brown So this is normal then?

And I understand having shitty parents. My dad has aspergers and my mom is a malignant narcissist. Don't let them get to your head.

look up "signs you have been abused by a narcissist" I think it will help you.