Dear Monster1977,
I am an RN, and I want to offer you an apology for that nurse's behavior. Not all nurses are that cruel and mean; I'm not. :-)
I have PTSD and depression, and have lived with them all of my life as I'm adopted. New research shows that when newborns are taken from their birth mothers for adoption, they experience a decrease in the oxytocin levels in their blood, thus changing their brains and making it difficult to trust and bond with others. Oxytocin is the hormone released during orgasm, breastfeeding, labor and other human activities.
Yesterday I finally admitted to myself that I hated nursing, and would complete my graduate studies so I can teach nursing in an online undergraduate nursing program. Today, all of the things I felt I had lost came back to me: my sense of freedom to play and explore the world; to get out of the house and go do things; to get back to my music, dance, and sculpture. In short, I got myself back.
Nursing is a conformist culture, like the military, and those who don't "fit in" are eventually forced out for their own health due to bullying by colleagues and management, which is what I had to do as management was part of the problem. The nurse you encountered had likely burned out to the point that he/her was in the ER to do the job and collect the paycheck. As an ER nurse you do see a lot of stuff you wish you hadn't, and you take it home with you if you don't know how to cope. I've decompensated and had to go to the ER, too, and I could imagine the judgmental thoughts going through the minds of the ER workers as I looked at their faces.
Life with PTSD is very hard, and those without it don't understand what our brains do to get us through a routine day. Sending you love and blessings for no more decompensations and nasty ER staff. :-)