@Lionheart my dude, i feel so much of what you do. Ive been coming to terms with a similar horrible incident where I came across a bunch of dead dogs that had been put down, all as part of some sick joke. And im going to be honest, im at a loss of how to even talk about it let alone even try to rationalozs and integrate this memory, give it space, understand it. I hate everything about it, i feel like its made me so uncomfortable around animals , especially dogs even years later. Its not f*cking fair.
This!! I think the term is anthropocentric. Its exactly how i feel. I dont want to hurt animals but my god i would never run into a burning building to save a dog, I might do it for a human though. To alot of people that would mean im a psychopath, to me its just common sense.To me, it was more rational to harm an animal than allow harm to come to a human being. This was always presented like a choice, but that was just another tool to cement the identity of perpetrator-abuser in me. For years I had a very human-supremist view of the world. Animals weren't as important as humans, no matter what. If I had to choose between an animal and a person I would pick the person.