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I Have No Words For This Experience - My dad used to kill my pets in front of me in a violent way, implying I would be next.

@Lionheart my dude, i feel so much of what you do. Ive been coming to terms with a similar horrible incident where I came across a bunch of dead dogs that had been put down, all as part of some sick joke. And im going to be honest, im at a loss of how to even talk about it let alone even try to rationalozs and integrate this memory, give it space, understand it. I hate everything about it, i feel like its made me so uncomfortable around animals , especially dogs even years later. Its not f*cking fair.

To me, it was more rational to harm an animal than allow harm to come to a human being. This was always presented like a choice, but that was just another tool to cement the identity of perpetrator-abuser in me. For years I had a very human-supremist view of the world. Animals weren't as important as humans, no matter what. If I had to choose between an animal and a person I would pick the person.
This!! I think the term is anthropocentric. Its exactly how i feel. I dont want to hurt animals but my god i would never run into a burning building to save a dog, I might do it for a human though. To alot of people that would mean im a psychopath, to me its just common sense.
 
@Lionheart my dude, i feel so much of what you do. Ive been coming to terms with a similar horrible incident where I came across a bunch of dead dogs that had been put down, all as part of some sick joke.
I am so sorry @Nixx it sounds sadistic in my humble opinion. I mean who does these things?
And im going to be honest, im at a loss of how to even talk about it let alone even try to rationalozs and integrate this memory, give it space, understand it. I hate everything about it, i feel like its made me so uncomfortable around animals , especially dogs even years later. Its not f*cking fair.
Nothing fair about it, my friend. Nothing at all!!! Processing something so insane is bound to have repercussions on one's mind and I am so sorry that you've had such an experience.
 
Find some nice dog pictures for your computer.
I'm actually a cat person but I like dogs too. I appreciate your suggestion. My dad actually shot and killed my childhood pet...a female black lab and then, mom and dad lied to me about it. I found out many years later. Dad's reasoning...she was pregnant and he could not deal with a litter of pups.
 
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