"i Have Not Broken You Yet"

[Sunrise]

Missing the Sunshine,
When - and if - you are feeling up to it, you could communicate with both parties, perhaps in a low key way, saying that you are upset and why and give them a chance to respond. You will know what to do by how they respond. I hope you find healing and empowerment in the next step you take on this journey.

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

I think only MTS could tell you whether her therapist is poor quality or not, and her GP, compared with what she has raised here about the issue of confidentiality being broken and trust lost, with your introduction and push, again, towards neurofeedback, which is a placebo treatment at best for PTSD treatment.

So please be careful on what you change a topic into, from what the author has stated as the problem.

I honestly didn't intend to question the ability of my T and am truly sorry if this is how it has come across. It was more about how I reacted to the situation more than anything. I think she has helped me, is kind and good at what she does. I am sure that she didn't expect the GP to discuss these issues with me that they had spoken about.

As I said, it was more about communicating my frustrations about my reaction and lack of skills in order to handle the situation when I was caught off guard.

I don't really have much experience or knowledge about 'neurofeedback' so can't really add anything to the discussion about that subject.

 

[seedling]

It takes time to have the skills to handle something like this that hits so close to home. Until you have done enough healing to maintain that kind of equilibrium people can't expect more from you. You did fine.

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

Some therapists are total idiots. I wish it weren't so, but it is! I'm so sorry you encountered one of these therapists, but try to look at this as a learning experience. It's best you know now that she couldn't be trusted.
I just want you to realize that it is a positive thing this has happened... It has exposed your T for the fraud she is, it has shown you about your doctors limitations/awareness of your illness...and it is a reason to seek out better care for yourself...

I am sorry if I didn't communicate my emotions, ideas etc properly...but I do not believe that my T is a 'total idiot' or a 'fraud'. I think that she is just concerned about my situation and honestly don't think she meant any harm. I just think that I need to work of the 'trust' issues and get over them - it is a work in progress and also extend my knowledge of tools and strategies that I can use to deal with these situations in the future.

Sorry for any confusion.

 

[Snuggy]

I think it is me that should apologize Missing the Sunshine. I never meant to do anything but offer you encouragement, understand and support through what appeared to me to be something that it wasn't. My misunderstanding, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies.

I would also like to clear something up that Anthony said, if I may. I was not pushing neurofeedback... and you do not know for sure if it is a placebo affect or not.

 

[Srain]

Hey Missing, one of the things I've learned in therapy is that I'm in charge of my recovery, I'm paying for it and although I depend on their expertise, I ultimately decide whether or not to use them. I've found that when I get stuck it's usually best to just writing down the questions II might have my tdoc. For you the first starting with why she said she hasn't broken you yet. It's a great question. It's kind of a make or break starting point of your relationship with her and whether or not you can continue, or at least clear the air with that. Then I might ask about why she asked your GP exactly what she did.

It's a starting point and you then can decide whether or not you want to ask in person or on the phone or perhaps just send it. You are not obligated at this point to do it in any particular manner, it's up to you. Then having the answers you can decide from there what you plan to do. It's your therapy.

Maybe this will help,
peace,
Rain

 

[Froggie]

Then she started mentioning some stuff about that I had spoken to my T about, including some incidents at home etc. (this was the 1st time I had spoken to be T about them). I really started to freak out because I totally wasn't expecting it, wasn't even expecting that my Doc would know anything about that as I had never spoken to her. I felt terrible and ended up breaking down and walking out of the appt.

((((Aussie Sis)))), do not forget that you are now an adult, you are no longer the child, you have the right to make decisions in you life. I have been pretty busy the last few days, maybe we could chat about this.

 

[BloomInWinter]

There is a DBT skill I've been practicing lately that has helped...it is 'get more information.'

When I'm reacting to something, I'm not able to know for awhile if I even heard what was said. This happens even with my kids and poor hubby. So...I try... *try*... to process, comfort myself, then reapproach and ask for more input.

In this case, there's not enough info for me to give you a 'this' or 'that' response, but I do know....there's wisdom in your feelings, somewhere there. Turn towards them and make friends with them. Ask them...ok, hi there...fear? Worry? Shame? Un-namable stew that needs an entry in the PTSD sniglet thread?

...whatever they are, they aren't wrong. They just might be telling you the answer to a question that was prompted by this situation....but is not the origin.

Not all who wander are lost.

I have no doubt such a smart, brave person like you will sort this out and find a way forward.

(((((missing_the_sunshine)))))

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

Snuggy, Srain, Froggy and BIM - thank you all for your words and suggestions.

I ended up re-scheduling my T appt this week. Just worked myself into a state and couldn't quite find a way out so thought I might give it a miss until I can sort myself out - whenever that may be (hopefully sooner rather than later).

Thanks again for your time and encouraging words.

 

[Srain]

Missing, you are in my thoughts :)

I hope all goes well and you are able to get the answers you are looking for.

Peace and healing,
Rain

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Wow! Once again, Missing, I feel for you... This must be scary especially with all of our trust issues intertwined.

The situation you describe is quite complex. You gave your T permission to talk about your difficulty sleeping. It is a slippery slope or a tight rope walk what may or may not be included regarding the cause of difficulty of sleeping. I'm sorry if my choice of words is poor. Basically, what I mean is that bringing up WHY you are having difficulty sleeping as well as WHY you are not comfortable taking sleeping meds could easily be understood to be part of that conversation.

I am not judging you. I understand completely why it is difficult for you to open up completely with all of your providers. Fear of what may or may not happen is extremely powerful. It is easy for us to say that you should be open with all of your providers. As you are also worried about staying with and taking care of your brother, it complicates the issue...

I honestly wish I had the answers for you...

 

[Teller]

Perhaps she wants you to be like a Phoenix...

But the way she worded it made me just think of how mustangs are tamed. And that makes me sad.