"i Have Not Broken You Yet"

[missing_the _sunshine]

Thanks Rain, DGN and Teller

My intention is to get to the place where I can say that my Psych knows 'everything' that there is to know, in order to get the most out of my sessions. I spose it just feels like I am a long way away from that place at the moment and am just really scared.

 

[Sunrise]

hey missing, will you get to such a place, does it exist? Maybe one day at a time and observing where the T is 'taking you' will be helpful, and maybe even being confident that you will know if you need to try someone with a different approach. Rather be encouraging you than giving advice, but given how upset you were earlier, I would not let a desire to have some rapport with the T deter you from every now and then saying - if you need to: Why did you say that? I need you to explain what you mean by that please... etc :)

 

[milbert]

Hi Missing,
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. The use of somewhat aggressive phrasing ("have not broken you yet") and the breach of confidentiality seem to me like big warning signs of unprofessional and unethical conduct. Can you talk to the clinic supervisor, your psychiatrist or your therapist's supervisor about this?

 

[Auroch]

Is your therapist Ivan Drago? If not, that's not really acceptable phrasing - I would never use those terms when speaking to someone I know had PTSD.

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. The use of somewhat aggressive phrasing ("have not broken you yet") and the breach of confidentiality seem to me like big warning signs of unprofessional and unethical conduct. Can you talk to the clinic supervisor, your psychiatrist or your therapist's supervisor about this?

Hi - I honestly don't think that she intended any malice - I just think that she wants my doc and herself to be on the same page. I just wasn't expecting it - so freaked out. I don't have a psychiatrist, it is a private clinic so there are no other Ts or a supervisor. I just need to work myself out and work myself up to going back.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I just need to work myself out and work myself up to going back.

I think you are right missing. I think you know deep down what is right for you.

I can see exactly where you are coming from. I am finding it a real battle at the moment to sort out the real from my doubts and fears. But I know deep down I have the answer and there are moments when I am clear and can see that answer but a lot of time when all the other fuzz comes in and confuses me. I really have to psyche myself up to do so much but, most of the time I am glad I make a decision and take that action, even though it may not work out exactly how I thought it would, but at least I have moved a bit forward, maybe not as much as I'd like to but a bit further is better than nothing or backwards. From what you are saying you do think your therapist is trying to help you (and anyway, no-one is going to be perfect, they are going to make mistakes, they are human after all)

I'm at the point where I trust what my therapist is doing is right, but I really don't get a lot of the stuff and where I am going with it and why (though I have an idea but I still don't even trust my ideas) and am too scared to ask a lot of stuff in case I am wrong or look stupid. And he has done and said stuff and I have gone home and had a whole lot of paranoia about what he said and then decided that I have to put that paranoia aside. I do think he is good so I have to go with how he works, after all he has a lot more experience about this stuff than I do. But hopefully I will get to a point where I can be more confident about asking and checking but that could be a long way away. I know he is open to questioning him, just I am too scared still to do that most of the time. Important thing is I can sort of see I am moving forward, just can't see the whole picture. (Hope that all makes sense, as I think I am rambling again).

Sounds like you know what you want deep down, so I would trust in yourself.

 

[Tinyflame]

..will you get to such a place, does it exist?

- if you need to (ask): Why did you say that? I need you to explain what you mean by that please... etc

I like these, they are so sensible.
-Thx-

 

[BloomInWinter]

I can finally see what this might have been about.

My T. insists that I am stronger and tougher than I think I am.

If he said this to me now, I know it wouldn't be as a threat, but as a reminder that I am not giving myself credit for being strong enough to not only live through my traumas, but to face whatever we need to face in therapy.

I can imagine a therapist trying to express that she believes you are much stronger than you know, that she is not nearly as powerful as you believe, and that you can trust yourself to get through this.

Hope it's going well!

:>