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I hate myself so much and I just want to call my adoptive mom. I want her to hold me and tell me it is going to be okay. But I cant. I just wish someone loved me when I needed it.
I hate myself so much and I just want to call my adoptive mom. I want her to hold me and tell me it is going to be okay. But I cant. I just wish someone loved me when I needed it.
Is there any family or close friends that you feel close with?
I have some. All are peers, not older than me. Feeling down on myself for always relying on the same 2 people for everything- friendship, advice, parental love, romantic love, etc. I dont want to overwhelm them. But I dont know anyone who can fill the other holes in me.
Is this an actual person you’re grieving over no longer having in your life... or an imaginary person (or amalgamation)?
@TruthSeeker
I do have a T. She is great. It helps. But she doesnt love me back. She cant, I understand that. Also, I do have other friends that I dont talk about this stuff to. I know they care about me and everything. I agree, it is nice to talk to them sometimes without worrying about all the other crap. We can just be friends.
But most days, I am dealing with crippling depression and seeing those friends sounds horribly painful. I dont want to fake being happy and i dont want to ruin the nature of our lighthearted friendship. Even if I did talk to all of them, it's not the same as a mom. I just want her back in my life so badly and I cant have that.
I know there are probably older women out there who would happily befriend me. It's definitely diffiche ult now to find any of them due to COVID.
Have you told her that?I was so lucky to have had a second chance at love in my life with her.