I Made My Therapist Cry

[jacx]

So I made my therapist cry last time. Just a little bit, and I didn't know how to react, so I didn't say anything, and neither did he. Now I feel bad about it. I'm seeing him again tomorrow and I'm a little worried that he thinks I'm a bad / difficult client. This is the first time a therapist has gone on seeing more for longer than 3 months so I keep expecting him to bail.

 

[Kintsugi]

My T has come close to tears a few times. Someone told me to think of it as a positive thing, that she cares, that she's making a human connection.

I never know what to make of it, and I've never talked to her about it, because I think I know what she might say, which is that she's a human and allowed to have emotions, and she owns those, and that I shouldn't feel accountable for her response.

 

[scout86]

So I made my therapist cry last time.

I'd be willing to bet you didn't actually MAKE him cry. He may have cried because of something you said, but that was him crying, not you making him do it. Protecting him isn't your job.

I had pretty much the same reaction as you did the first time my T teared up over something I'd said. (Something that didn't strike me as a big deal at all!) I kind of thought "This is never going to work if I have to be careful what I say so I don't upset him." So I directly brought it up and said that. (It was like the third session, maybe. I figured if it wasn't going to work I might as well find out sooner rather than later.) He told me that he cries kind of easy. It's not dangerous, it doesn't hurt him or anything else, it's just the way he is. "Thanks for worrying but you don't have to worry about me I can take care of myself." It's taken me awhile to get used to, and it still makes me pause, but it's ok. And, talking about it turned out to be a step towards feeling safeish talking about stuff that's hard to talk about. So, my suggestion would be to bring it up and work through it.

 

[Leigh925]

My therapist has cried. He is the only one out of a handful of therapist that has even remotely shown any emotion. And he's the best one yet. He actually cares about his patients.

 

[mrsmegan]

I have "made" my therapist cry on a couple of occasions.

It was definitely weird, but at the same time, it is really good. It is a sign that he really cares about me, that he is a real human being - and it has helped me to trust him a lot more.

Definitely talk about it with your T! I think it good be a really great conversation!

 

[Mafia_Science]

I've made my full grown man therapist nearly cry on the first and only appointment. First he asked if I was ok being alone, then he said he needs to leave for a moment because he's close to tears.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Don't feel bad! Mine did the same thing! I worried so I asked my psychiatrist if he thought my psychologist was getting too involved. He said, no, my psychologist was just being human. :)

 

[Riot]

I used to find it awkward, but maybe only because I didn't understand why my therapist was crying. I guess sometimes, when you're living with whatever it is you live with--that is, the pain, or circumstances that you've become numb to--it's easy to forget why others get emotional when you attempt to convey that numbness.

 

[Brenton]

So I made my therapist cry last time. Just a little bit, and I didn't know how to react, so I didn't say a...

I made mine cry too, but she cried for me. I was telling her something really painful and she got all misty and started crying, like tears and everything.

 

[Riot]

@Brenton, ditto here, at least that's how I interpreted it.

 

[Poofycat]

I made mine cry too, but she cried for me.

Yep. My therapist has teared up a couple times. The first time I stopped talking and stared at him like "what is going on". Then he explained that he's an easy cried. He also explained that I could kind of use this as a gage since I have a hard time telling whether certain events are a big deal or not. If he cries, then it was probably a big deal.

 

[Kintsugi]

I wanted to add to my last post here, because I had my therapy session yesterday, and I did address this:

My T has come close to tears a few times. Someone told me to think of it as a positive thing, that s...

... Wherein I proceed to predict what she would say about that phenomenon.

She had something to add to my prediction: that there is a certain amount of modeling in the T-to-client relationship, and that it was important to model showing emotion and expressing that emotion without allowing it to overcome or undo you (the T). :)