I Need Advise

[Sohurt78]

I have been dating a guy for about a yr and a half. He's hard working and sweet and very affectionate. However, he doesn't talk to me. At all. He recently confided in me that with his last relationship, they had a baby girl that was stillborn. He delivered her at home by himself. The relationship desolved. He has not been diagnosed with PTSD but I wonder if his silence could be attributed to it. He doesnt seem interested in many things and isolates himself from everyone. Not just me. I suffer from PTSD myself and go to therapy and everything to get the help I need. He knows this. What can I do to get him help?

 

[bring em all in]

If it is not PTSD then it sounds like there is something else going on that he needs to address. Aside from making suggestions that he get professional help, maybe over time he will open up in his own time. Perhaps print out a page about PTSD or depression and see if he'd complete a self-evaluation.

I wish you the best in this endeavor:)

 

[Sohurt78]

I have been dating a guy for about a yr and a half. He's hard working and sweet and very affectionate....

Thank you.

 

[UnluckyGuy]

These are just the words from an untrained reader, but the first step has already started - he told you about his experience. I would have thought that experiencing something like that will change a person, his silence could be dissociation/PTSD. I'm bias though, as I have, so do take that into account.

What surprises me is that you have PTSD as well, and if you've spoken at great length about the source of yours, that should normally allow him to open up. Moreover, if you've recovered or nearly recovered, that should give him some hope that there is a 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

I think people can deny they have a problem for some time, it took me a year after an event to admit to myself that I had an issue and seek help.

As you've no doubted imagined already, you can't push him into receiving help, he has to choose it for himself. He could potentially be distracting himself from his inner thoughts - by being hardworking and affectionate for example. Again, I did the same thing for a long time, but it's unique to the individual when they accept they have an issue. The resolution is also unique to the individual, however I'm sure there is specific support for his trauma.

I wish you the very very best.

 

[Sohurt78]

Thank you for your input. It is greatly appreciated. When I talk about my experiencesituation as a child and the things that I've been through, he just listens. There is never a respinse. He doesnt talk about his childhood. Just says it was uneventful. We had a long talk last night about the possibility of him having PTSD. When I told him I have it too, he said he thought that I was just depressed. I looked up some information on PTSD for him. I'm hoping when he's done reading it will open the door towards help. He knows therapy works. At least for me it does. But like you said, everyone is unique.

 

[Sohurt78]

Also his trauma was almost 9 years ago and he has not spoke to anyone about it since.

 

[UnluckyGuy]

You're very welcome. I'm glad your talk with him went well, for him to even read about PTSD is a really big step. It's not fair that he should have lived the last 9 years without speaking to anyone. But that's really the problem, until you came into his life, no-one had probably invited him to speak. You're a good person for prompting him to understand his inner workings and I wish you the very best.