I Need Some Opinions In This Difficult Time!! Please!!!

[Hicktownchic87]

I'm proud of you for considering different options, getting outside advice, and making the choice tha...

Thank You and I'm proud of myself as well and it's been a big help with all the advice I've been given over the past couple days from ya'll here and my pastor as well. It feels like some of the burden has been lifted off me. Trying to not worry so much about him and everything going on with him.

 

[MCCS]

Thank You and I'm proud of myself as well and it's been a big help with all the advice I've been...

That is an extremely mature decision. Please keep us updated on how you're doing. I think it's important to have a large support system and I definitely come on here for support when need be. Even just to validate that how I'm feeling is normal for someone with PTSD.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

Here it is Friday Jan15th, it's only been 2 days now since I talked with my pastor and decided to take and break with the relationship. I'm already slowing feeling better inside. I actually slept completely through last night with no flashbacks. I'm starting to get my work done that I need to and things seem to be going smoothly. If it keeps going this way, I don't think I'm going to get back with him. Any opinions on what you all see about this?

 

[MCCS]

Here it is Friday Jan15th, it's only been 2 days now since I talked with my pastor and decided to...

I think that is a good sign you've made the right decision. After I broke it off with my emotionally abusive ex I felt relief, that was a year ago and I know it was the right decision for him and I. To be honest I still chat with him and it's in no way abusive anymore. We can both see how unhealthy our relationship was now and agree that we are best as friends and nothing more.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

Thanks, and I got a phone call from him earlier while at wally world. He even said that he don't want us to try and get back together. He said he knows that all he did was make me unhappy, not all the time but most. He stated that he wants us to be friends and nothing more. That for some reason his mind wants him to push the people away that love him the most and the one that don't care he keeps close. He stated that as well and he don't understand why. I go for taking just a break and give us both time to work on ourselves (if he would work on himself). Then he tells me this today that its completely over. He did tell me that he still loves me and wants to just see me happy...

 

[MCCS]

Thanks, and I got a phone call from him earlier while at wally world. He even said that he don't...

I hope him saying that came from a sincere, honest and mature place opposed to a manipulative place. It's difficult for me to read people, specially through text and when I don't know them. For a long time my ex still tried to control or feel like he had control over me/the situation and would say whatever he thought I wanted to hear after our arguments. That's how he kept me thinking he would change and we could be healthy and happy together.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

I hope him saying that came from a sincere, honest and mature place opposed to a manipulative place. It's d...

It seemed like he was being honest and sincere about it, he really sounded upset to as he was saying everything. Even though all that was said, I think I'm still going to go and visit him this morning. It's only right to know for sure where he stands and to make things clear face to face.

 

[MCCS]

It seemed like he was being honest and sincere about it, he really sounded upset to as he was say...

Understandable, just ensure that you stand your ground and do what's best for you no matter what.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

Understandable, just ensure that you stand your ground and do what's best for you no matter what.

Yes I will and apparently my body isn't going to let me get any sleep tonight. I'm like so exhausted but everytime I lay down, my mind is like wide awake and then I'm completely restless.. This really stinks but it's how its been. Some nights I'll sleep like a baby and some nights my mind wont let me

 

[Hicktownchic87]

One thing that's been on my mind, is this, with my ptsd and being a recovered alcoholic. I shut people out of my life so I could work on sobering up 5yrs ago. Now 5yrs later I'm still anti-social and don't really know how to talk to people to make new friends. Even going to church, I go but I really don't talk to anyone, and hardly ever go out to make new friends cause I shut down. The only reason I started seeing this guy was cause he was someone I knew for 15yrs. Now with this moving on thing, I don't have any friends locally to hang out with or just sit and talk to. What can I do???

 

[MCCS]

One thing that's been on my mind, is this, with my ptsd and being a recovered alcoholic. I shut p...

I'm the same way, sometimes I can't sleep even when I'm exhausted, my mind won't let me..

I also relate to you with being anti social, the only thing I can suggest is getting involved in groups of some sort. Pushing yourself to build friendships with the people in them. I need to get back into yoga and hopefully I'll push myself to actually build some friendships there. I've been attending phone meetings and in person meetings with regards to my trauma recovery and am pushing myself to get phone numbers from people there for support, which is a start. I've also texted a couple people from my past which I'll hopefully stay in contact with and re build friendships with.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

I'm the same way, sometimes I can't sleep even when I'm exhausted, my mind won't let me..

I also relate to...

I've tried to get in contact with a couple people as well but I have to watch cause a lot of the people from my past were alcoholics. So that kind of makes that difficult and the one's that I've reached out to who weren't pretty much want nothing to do with me cause they don't realize I've changed and I'm not the person I was then. It's just been a rocky road for me and I will try and find some groups to maybe get involved with. I do help and volunteer with a fire company (yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter) and help with the fundraising events. That's really the only time I socialize but it never goes to being friends and hanging out outside of the station. I mostly do that to help others, after my ex died in a boating accident. There was nothing I could do for him but I knew by becoming a firefighter I may be able to help someone else from going threw the horror of that fate. With the fundraiser's I mostly do that for the kids, I just love seeing kids be happy and having fun. See there's a lot more to everything that I haven't talked about. Over the last 10yrs I've had 3 miscarries and the doctors don't think I'll be able to ever have kids. My most recent loss was last july. I always make it until around 8wks and then I loose the baby. I've also had 5 ovarian cysts rupture and the doctors think that may have something to do with it. Sometimes specially when my ptsd is flared up like it's been. It's really hard to even go to a store, or even on facebook cause everytime I see baby pictures or here about how some parents neglect there babies. It really upsets me cause I feel like somethings wrong with me that I can't have a baby.