I Need Some Opinions In This Difficult Time!! Please!!!

[MCCS]

I've tried to get in contact with a couple people as well but I have to watch cause a lot of the...

Good to hear you're involved in a few things. I can completely understand wanting to help other people, I've been considering going to school to specialize in counselling in my area of trauma but realize I need to heal more before I take that on as a career and don't know if that's the best career for me.

I can understand triggers even though mine are different. Due to growing up without a Dad, my triggers include seeing other people with two parents happy. I also am adopted and have struggled with seeing other people who look like their family, so Facebook can be a trigger for me as well. I do not know if I can have biological children or not yet but due to a couple circumstances wonder if I'm able to. If I'm not able to that will be something I will definitely grieve, being adopted and not having anyone in my life biologically related to me, one thing I've always wanted was a biological child.

 

[Hicktownchic87]

Hello, I know it's been awhile since I've been on, been very busy trying to get things done ahead of time. I had carpel tunnel surgery in 2014 and since than de quarvien's(I think that's how it's spelled) tendonitis has set in. I just found out this past Tuesday they will be doing surgery for that this coming Wednesday the 27th. So just trying to plan ahead for this and then all the PT afterwards. I do want to update you with how I'm doing with everything else. Him and I are still taking a break and were not sure if he's getting out of jail on Feb 2ed. It's not looking good for him. I am happy to say that I'm doing a lot better mentally right now. Since I've took the break my flash backs are slowing down and I'm focusing on me and my work a lot more than I was. I did have another strange dream (wasn't the normal flashback) just the other night. I had a dream that when he got home, he got caught back on the dope and I found him dead on my sofa the next morning. It really scared the crap out of me. I feel a lot better now though than I have in the last almost year and half. I think I'm happier without him than I am with. I do still feel obligated to let him come back here for a home plan when he gets out of jail, at least until he can talk to his parents about moving back in there.

 

[MCCS]

Sorry for the delayed reply, I try and get on here daily but don't always. I'm relieved to hear you're still feeling better, I've been doing better this week myself :)

Night terrors are absolutely awful, for some reason mine have been less frequent since breaking up with my emotionally abusive ex. I've had them my entire life according to my Mom, even as a baby, so don't understand why they're less frequent but am thankful they are. I don't even think I have night terrors anymore since I don't wake up feeling like my bad dreams were real. I'm not terrified waking up for the first time in my life. Since getting into recovery my brain has actually been able to have a bad dream and then half way through go through it again but change the ending for the better. I'm pretty certain that means I've been starting to re wire my thinking in a positive way which is a huge relief.

As for allowing him to stay with you until he can arrange to move back in with his parents, I definitely understand that. My ex was living with me for a year or so. He didn't have savings and had animals as well. When we broke up he moved out but ended up moving in with a friend, his hedgehog stayed with me and I ended up purchasing his hedgehog off of him since we both agreed it would be best for Gus. The entire time I wanted to offer my ex to move into my guest room since it wasn't going well at his friends house. Thankfully he moved back in with his Dad instead though. I would suggest making clear boundaries while he stays with you so there are no expectations that you do not want.