Yes that is a really good idea reading up on it. If you go to a DV centre they will have info on it as well. A couple of books I found really eye-opening when I was just waking up are ones about controlling people and emotional blackmail and how it works. I could underline so much stuff. Once you realise this is all psychological tactics and you are not the only one, and it is not just you imagining it or being paranoid (as my ex would try to make me think) you gain power back, you can see exactly what they are doing. Although it took me years and I still get twisted by him sometimes (which is why essential to just make a clean break). It is like relearning how to think and believe in your instincts which were always there but buried by them. The 2 books were "Controlling People" by Patricia Evans and "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward.
If you ever get a chance to watch the film "Gaslight" where Ingrid Bergman ends up like she is being driven crazy. Contrary to most people's description, he was not trying to drive her crazy by making the lights go dim, they were going dim because he was up in the attic and when he switched the gas lights on up there the lights downstairs dimmed and he was also making noises up there and she could hear it. So what she was hearing and seeing was real, he then tried to make what she saw and heard as she was going crazy and it was not real. So he was not deliberately dimming the lights to drive her crazy. But he had to hide his activities (he had murdered her aunt to get hold of priceless jewelry and that jewelry was somewhere in her possessions in the attic and he was searching for them) so he had to make her look crazy to hide the fact that he was evil and carry on with his searching for the jewels.
Also my psychologist told me to watch "Sleeping with the enemy", you can see the charming man, who at home is controlling right down to how the towels had to be arranged. How everyone saw him as charming, but this guy was all about control.
