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I Realize That I

I realize that even though, I do feel so awkward and embarrassed because my PTSD symptoms are flaring and my mistakes are becoming too obvious to those around me I have to work on the shame I now feel. I hate being where I currently am in my head. I want to move on with my life and I need to be realistic.:banghead::banghead::banghead:
 
I realize that I'm still not up to running into several individuals here in town and trying to have that "fake" conversation that I would need to have in order to keep my boundaries in place.

I realize that I need to put myself first and although I am getting stronger, the thought of seeing them still overwhelms me as they are indeed not someone I can be authentic with and feel safe with. I just need to remind myself, it will just take time before I get over the trauma that I felt from them.
 

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