I See You

[Ga5bby]

I feel like a jerk. I
Lately I only acknowledge people in my head. Whether it be a question they ask or a wave from across the room. I think of my response. And move on. Now I have people wondering what they did, why I'm mad at them. I can't handle that. But yet on the occasion I respond it doesn't feel like me talking. Not things I want to say and definitely not how I really feel. I hate it. I feel like everything about me is a lie.

Nobody even knows me anymore. It hurts. I'm sick of it.

 

[Lightseeker]

How are you caring for yourself? Soaking in a bubble bath with candles? A nice hot cup of tea? Or hot cocoa? Or coffee? Do something to soothe yourself, see yourself as valuable and worthy of these good things. That is the first step. Then when you are feeling better in your own skin, it will be easier to share the wonder of who you are with others. You know you, and I look forward to getting to know you here, where it is safe.

 

[Ga5bby]

Hi Lightseeker, I don't do a lot of self care right now. Too many things are triggering me. I'm just working on making it through each day. :) Here is a good place to find friends.

 

[kers]

I know what you mean. I have had this going on all week, too. It strains my relationships with friends and it's a vicious circle--because I feel bad I don't interact, which makes me feel more isolated and freakish, which makes me want to avoid interacting.

At work I try to force myself to smile and mumble a response, but it's quite difficult. Sometimes dealing with people is just too much.

 

[Heather]

I find dealing with other people exhausting. I thought it was just me that felt this way. relationships are too much work. even talking to my therapist is work 'cause that's a relationship too. sometimes i don't even want to deal with him either. maybe that's why I like my cat so much. She's so cute and fuzzy and I can never, ever say the wrong thing to her and she never ever says the wrong thing to me either!

Maybe I should move to an island with just cats.