mis4tuneteller
New Here
As most people, I've gone through quite a hefty amount of issues such as severe heartache, severe depression, anxiety attacks, attempted suicide even. I served 12 months in Ramadi, Iraq as a turret gunner in the United States Marine Corps as a Lance Corporal. During my time over there I've encountered being shot at, witnessing multiple detonations of Improvised Explosive Devices (IED's) gone on well over 400 convoy missions as a turret gunner, convoy commander, vehicle commander, as well as a driver.
Being well rounded with all aspects of how to manuver in combat, I am also a Combat Life Saver, for those of you who don't know what that means it is pretty much the very basics of what a Navy Corpsman does (AKA Doc.) but having only the jist of how to prevent the loss of a life. Not many people can say, "I was there, I did that," and I am more than proud of myself and achivements (Navy Achivement Medal, Operation Iraqi Freedom Campaign) however you'd think from the numerous activities that went on while over in that God forsaken country, I would suffer from some sort of PTSD, when I don't think I am phased at all from dealing with and going through everything that went on over there.
To be honest I am more upset with the fact that my girlfriend had a new boyfriend once I returned. She is in the Navy as an Aviation Ordinance guru. We were supposed to get married, and I emphisize supposed to because she was all I breathed ate drank and slept. Now, upon returning to the United States, I attempted suicide, and some may say "how nieve, so childish," and looking back on it all I concur, however at the same time I don't want to sound like an immature 15 year old shcool girl who got dumped by "the love of her life."
I believe everything happens for a reason and that you should live life without regrets, but at the same time I can't sleep at night because of this girl. I can't go 5 minutes without hearing a song on the radio that reminds me of her, without hearing a phrase or seeing a picture or reading a paragraph without remembering how I felt the night I did in the back of the ambulance.
I wake up in sweat and tears, even though I don't go to sleep with her on my mind. I have re-occuring dreams and feel bi-polar about this whole situation being that I have a new girlfriend whom I love more than anything in this world and I would do anything for. I am a lost soul, and sometimes think that I am the only one who understands the concept of not being able to understand someone. I suppose with that being said I just wasted my time with this whole entire spew of how I feel and the want of help. I guess hope is all I have left to hold on to, because faith is a hoax.
peace.
Being well rounded with all aspects of how to manuver in combat, I am also a Combat Life Saver, for those of you who don't know what that means it is pretty much the very basics of what a Navy Corpsman does (AKA Doc.) but having only the jist of how to prevent the loss of a life. Not many people can say, "I was there, I did that," and I am more than proud of myself and achivements (Navy Achivement Medal, Operation Iraqi Freedom Campaign) however you'd think from the numerous activities that went on while over in that God forsaken country, I would suffer from some sort of PTSD, when I don't think I am phased at all from dealing with and going through everything that went on over there.
To be honest I am more upset with the fact that my girlfriend had a new boyfriend once I returned. She is in the Navy as an Aviation Ordinance guru. We were supposed to get married, and I emphisize supposed to because she was all I breathed ate drank and slept. Now, upon returning to the United States, I attempted suicide, and some may say "how nieve, so childish," and looking back on it all I concur, however at the same time I don't want to sound like an immature 15 year old shcool girl who got dumped by "the love of her life."
I believe everything happens for a reason and that you should live life without regrets, but at the same time I can't sleep at night because of this girl. I can't go 5 minutes without hearing a song on the radio that reminds me of her, without hearing a phrase or seeing a picture or reading a paragraph without remembering how I felt the night I did in the back of the ambulance.
I wake up in sweat and tears, even though I don't go to sleep with her on my mind. I have re-occuring dreams and feel bi-polar about this whole situation being that I have a new girlfriend whom I love more than anything in this world and I would do anything for. I am a lost soul, and sometimes think that I am the only one who understands the concept of not being able to understand someone. I suppose with that being said I just wasted my time with this whole entire spew of how I feel and the want of help. I guess hope is all I have left to hold on to, because faith is a hoax.
peace.
