triedmybest14
New Here
So my girlfriend recently ended the relationship with me. It cam very soon after hearing about so many things that happened in her past. I didn't want to end the relationship and didn't understand what went wrong but now that I think about it, I think it was due to past traumas. I want to tell her to get help but I think it might just piss her off.
Early on she told me about how her last boyfriend beat her up pretty bad near the end of their relationship. Sometimes she still talked about how much she loved him. Then I heard about how when she was 18 she got really drunk with a dude and woke up to him having sex with her. Later on I asked for more details. Then she told me about how she was with a dude, a friend of a friend and they were having sex and he wanted to do anal. He forced himself on her and she told me about how she screamed and cried and wanted him to stop. She went to the hospital and they had enough evidence that he could be charged with rape. She didn't want to.
After hearing these things I didn't know how to react. I just wanted her to know that it didn't change the way I felt about her. I wonder if I reacted appropriately. At first I felt very angry but didn't lash out or anything. I was mad at these people for doing these things. Then I started to cry and told her that I loved her. The next day things started to feel weird between us.
She wanted to end the relationship soon after, which caught me off guard. She had some legitimate complaints but nothing out of the ordinary. I told her I would not have done those things if I knew they bothered her. I was just trying to be helpful but she thought I was being condescending.
Less than a week after that. We get together and she is cold and distant. Later that night she tells me that the last dude who raped her is still texting her. She also starts telling me it was her ex's birthday, the one who beat her and also talks about how much she loved him. She then tells me that when she was with her first boyfriend, his dad snuck into where she was sleeping and fingered her in the middle of the night.
I then asked her if she has ever seen a Councillor and she got very upset with me. Soon after she ended the relationship. I called her a week later and asked her about the past abuses, to see if that's why she ended it. I may not have been direct enough but I was trying not to upset her. She then sent an email saying I used her past abuses to contact her and now she questions whether I am a good person.
I still care about her and want her to get some help. Maybe she doesn't need it, but she was addicted to drugs and can't sleep without pills due to her nightmares. Should I stop worrying about her? I would rather see her get the help she needs then get back in the relationship. Is it wrong of me to think she needs help?
Early on she told me about how her last boyfriend beat her up pretty bad near the end of their relationship. Sometimes she still talked about how much she loved him. Then I heard about how when she was 18 she got really drunk with a dude and woke up to him having sex with her. Later on I asked for more details. Then she told me about how she was with a dude, a friend of a friend and they were having sex and he wanted to do anal. He forced himself on her and she told me about how she screamed and cried and wanted him to stop. She went to the hospital and they had enough evidence that he could be charged with rape. She didn't want to.
After hearing these things I didn't know how to react. I just wanted her to know that it didn't change the way I felt about her. I wonder if I reacted appropriately. At first I felt very angry but didn't lash out or anything. I was mad at these people for doing these things. Then I started to cry and told her that I loved her. The next day things started to feel weird between us.
She wanted to end the relationship soon after, which caught me off guard. She had some legitimate complaints but nothing out of the ordinary. I told her I would not have done those things if I knew they bothered her. I was just trying to be helpful but she thought I was being condescending.
Less than a week after that. We get together and she is cold and distant. Later that night she tells me that the last dude who raped her is still texting her. She also starts telling me it was her ex's birthday, the one who beat her and also talks about how much she loved him. She then tells me that when she was with her first boyfriend, his dad snuck into where she was sleeping and fingered her in the middle of the night.
I then asked her if she has ever seen a Councillor and she got very upset with me. Soon after she ended the relationship. I called her a week later and asked her about the past abuses, to see if that's why she ended it. I may not have been direct enough but I was trying not to upset her. She then sent an email saying I used her past abuses to contact her and now she questions whether I am a good person.
I still care about her and want her to get some help. Maybe she doesn't need it, but she was addicted to drugs and can't sleep without pills due to her nightmares. Should I stop worrying about her? I would rather see her get the help she needs then get back in the relationship. Is it wrong of me to think she needs help?
