I walked out on my therapy session today

[mrsps]

Thanks all for your replies.

Now that time has passed since yesterdays session I am feeling a little calmer and realise that walking out on the session was maybe not the best way to deal with the hurt I was feeling at the time. I will go back next week as I do not want things to finish up like this and I would regret not seeing my T again and getting to say goodbye to her.
I am just so so heartbroken that our time has come to an end and I will never see her again and she means so much to me.

 

[Friday]

maybe not the best way to deal with the hurt I was feeling at the time. I

Maybe not.

But it was also a sign that you’re self-regulating. Situation reached a tipping point, and instead of blowing up, melting down, zoning out, or shutting down? You removed yourself from the situation. Did some reality checking. Sought the advice of others. Considered the situation yourself. And are ready to face the situation more clearly, now.

Sure, room for improvement, when a deep breath can contain a days worth of self regulating... Voila! Perfection.

As one of my fav peeps used to remind me?

Perfection is for next week. ;) Today, progress, not perfection.

 

[blackemerald1]

I am just so so heartbroken that our time has come to an end and I will never see her again and she means so much to me.

^^This. Is maybe why you walked out...really?

And yes it is very painful to leave someone you have shared your life with. However to a lesser extent people move in and out of our lives quite often and we do deal with that. It is all the more difficult when it is someone so important and incredibly personal moves away. But it is still manageable.

You cannot stop what is happening @mrsps - so managing it is the best you can hope for. It will take a while to adjust.

I'm so pleased you are taking this last appointment and returning to say goodbye properly. You will remember that moment for a long time if not forever. :hug:

 

[Emotional girl]

I think that you are do the right thing by saying goodbye to her properly next week otherwise you would have probably have regretted it if you didn't.
The reason you probably walked out is because you are hurting and if your anything like me then it is easier to push the other person away than deal with the pain.
I hope that your session goes well next week and that things end in the best possible way.

 

[Erik Nordman.]

Yes, always part company well, if you can. The therapy merry go 'round. I have had a similar experience with a few therapists. One I had for years and it ended when she got very unprofessional when I told her my wife continued to act so aggressive toward me. Not physically, but verbally. Name calling, etc. She would stay overnight where she works and not tell me where she was. I knew very well since her work friend was calling me worried about me. The therapists said she is having an affair, as if it was certified to be true. The manner in which she said it was very hurtful. So I walked. Never went back and I don't regret it one bit. My wife and I get along fine now. She was just angry at her situation -- immigrant, language problems, feelings of rejection. I try to love her so much.

Then the merry go 'round of new therapists begins. I have PTSD and not many therapists are willing to have us. Since then it has been a nightmare. One therapist said I had an appointment that I did not. Another just quit me. Right now I going through phone calls where therapists try to think of ways to not make an appointment. I am waiting for one to tell me the dog at her appointment book.

Kiss and hug. Say good bye the right way. And spend your energy finding a new one, a better one, for YOU. It can be done.

 

[Abstract]

I also think it can be a way of coping when struggling with hurt feelings. Withdrawing first or concentrating on finding the bad in someone else can be a way of feeling less vulnerable and hurt. Not saying you were doing this. Thats for you to decide. Just discussing the concept. I agree that she was treating you as an adult. Respecting your wishes and your direct expressions rather than anything you were indirectly trying to get her to do. Like convince you to stay. You are discussing what you feel and what happened and are already doing well even if it doesn't feel like it. Heart break is understandable but remember that nothing can take away the care she has shown you and shared with you. That you get to keep along with the healing you experienced. Only you re interpreting it can take that away. You can still keep all the caring and healing and experiences you had with her and take them with you on your steps forward from here.

 

[Maroon731]

I am sorry. I agree with all the advice of going back for the proper goodbye. But my heart breaks with you for the pain you are feeling. And I totally understand not wanting to. Maybe this can be one more lesson on how a positive goodbye is supposed to happen? Anyway I am sorry, hope you will stay open and be able to move forward with the new therapist.

 

[hithere]

Thanks all for your replies.

I am just so so heartbroken that our time has come to an end and I will never see her again and she means so much to me.

This is what you need to tell your therapist. If you can't say the words, write these down and hand it to your therapist. This is why you walked out and why you are angry with your therapist (I'm guessing, putting myself in your shoes) Just what you wrote right here: I am just so so heartbroken because..." The fact that your time together is over sucks. It feels like a gaping f*cking hole. Putting words to that loss is difficult. Try to focus on the good things the T has done, but explicitly tell your T you will MISS them and that you HURT because of the end of the relationship

 

[Justmehere]

I had a therapist move away. We had really clicked and did amazing work. The sessions to close out our work were some of the most painful sessions ever. After it was over, I was pretty surprised. I was very heartbroken, but more whole. Not less whole.

Use this time to not deal with what you will do with the next therapist, but about your relationship with her and what it’s meant to you. The work you have done with her, you get to keep that. Hold on to it.

I asked the therapist to plant seeds with me in our last session as a way to symbolize that our work was just the start of a better future. She said it helped her too.

Goodbyes don’t always happen in the way we would like, and that’s ok. This stuff is hard. I’m glad you’ll go back for the last session.