I want to be a kid again

[katz]

Oh, how I long to just be held.. let me cry...comforted. It makes me angry that I missed out on such a simple childhood "thing"

 

[Friday]

Oh, how I long to just be held.. let me cry...comforted. It makes me angry that I missed out on such a simple childhood "thing"

Or a rapist, murderer, child predator… no worries! All you need? Is arms.

Amputees need not apply.

Been there.

Rise above it. WHO someone is? Matters.

 

[Rose White]

be a kid again -.-

In the sense that, I’d be loved and taken care of no matter what.

Oh, how I long to just be held.. let me cry...comforted

Freud talked about the egolessness of children, how they are merged with the entire universe in a trance-like state of perfect narcissism. Sometimes I think my dad was abusive to me and my brother when he recognized that we were living in that ocean of unaware connection—it hurt my dad that he couldn’t be in that state anymore and he wanted to take it away from us. I think my ex had something similar with our sons but from a different perspective.

 

[EveHarrington]

I miss not paying bills.

The best years were early adulthood when you had the freedom of being an adult but still very little responsibility.

 

[Sunnydays1]

I would love to experience a feeling of being contained in a family, for one day, that’s what it means for me to be a kid.

 

[Applecore]

Freud talked about the egolessness of children, how they are merged with the entire universe in a trance-like state of perfect narcissism. Sometimes I think my dad was abusive to me and my brother when he recognized that we were living in that ocean of unaware connection—it hurt my dad that he couldn’t be in that state anymore and he wanted to take it away from us. I think my ex had something similar with our sons but from a different perspective.

I get this. It seems to be said too little that parents envy their children and so often don't want the best for their children. All that chatter about the Oedipus/Elektra myth has displaced the myth of Saturn/Cronus eating his own children. Allegorically speaking, parents want to destroy their children no less than children want to destroy their parents.

Part of adjusting to the adult world I guess is to understand that our parents were just human, and therefore imperfect. Just like us.

I’m in my late thirties and I so desperately want to be a kid again -.-

In the sense that, I’d be loved and taken care of no matter what.

I also miss my child self.

Anybody else feel the same?

It's a really interesting question. Because for what it's worth, no, I don't want to be a kid again, because I wasn't taken care of no matter what. I had plenty of love in terms of affection, but I was occasionally screamed at by a father who as a child lived through the Holocaust including getting maimed, and occasionally treated as if I wasn't real by a child rape victim mother in an alleged cult which taught that everything is an illusion. Being an adult, understanding their pain as well as their love, is quite a relief.

Fortunately we can access our child selves today, for example through play. To my mind, playing brings more joy to our lives than being taken care of (which personally I associate with dependence and irresponsibility). The joy of a bike ride. The joy of a leaf in the park. The joy of making someone laugh. It's all good.

That said, full disclosure - it's easy for me to say this now. I've got a well-paid, stress-free, reasonably interesting job that I can do from anywhere with internet, including the wilderness or a beach. I've hit rock bottom several times, and pushed myself up off it several times. I'm a survivor. And I've done decades of "work" on myself.

You might get something out of Schema Therapy, ICYMI. It's a lot about finding that Happy Child inside yourself.