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You don't need friends if you are a friend to yourself. I don't see that. Please be a friend to yourself and stop being hard on yourself. PTSD is real, your friends denying that doesn't matter, but you yourself denying it is what I found that hurts myself more. My husband would tell me "Don't be hard on yourself". And then I'd realise that he was right.
I have been where you are. There were days in the early PTSD the anxiety was so crippling, I could not even get to the shower until 4.00pm in the evening. My house was full of newspaper because I could not clean up catalouges. I was agoraphobic and couldn't leave the house. None of the therapy was working. I know how bad that is. I know it sux when you are not making progress.
Keep trying different therapies until you find one that works for you. I spent 4 years undiagnosed, and saw 5 different psychologists, a psychiatrist and a few councellors before I found a therapist that helped. If you aren't crying in therapy heaps and heaps occasionally, it is a sign in my experience to seek a different therapist.
You could try psychodynamic and linking therapy. Try a few different psychologists as only about 40% in my experience are good at making you cry. Try the online therapy on the forum that was advertised last year as interapy. This is worth a try.
I have been where you are. There were days in the early PTSD the anxiety was so crippling, I could not even get to the shower until 4.00pm in the evening. My house was full of newspaper because I could not clean up catalouges. I was agoraphobic and couldn't leave the house. None of the therapy was working. I know how bad that is. I know it sux when you are not making progress.
Keep trying different therapies until you find one that works for you. I spent 4 years undiagnosed, and saw 5 different psychologists, a psychiatrist and a few councellors before I found a therapist that helped. If you aren't crying in therapy heaps and heaps occasionally, it is a sign in my experience to seek a different therapist.
You could try psychodynamic and linking therapy. Try a few different psychologists as only about 40% in my experience are good at making you cry. Try the online therapy on the forum that was advertised last year as interapy. This is worth a try.
- Post starter
- #15
D
Deleted member 1860
How can you be a friend to yourself when you hate everything about you?
I just want to disappear and make everyones lives better so I don't have to burden them anymore.
I just want to disappear and make everyones lives better so I don't have to burden them anymore.
In the same way you hate a toddler that cries, you parent them. You don't have to like yourself to be a friend to yourself.
Who was it that taught you to hate everything about yourself? A child doesn't learn that, it is taught.
I think you are stuck in a situation where you say you are not improving. It is easy to find help. These days, PTSD is more recognised, and there are more therapists that focus on linking therapy. There is the better access to mental health plan to help with costs. There is a lot of support. There are forums. You aren't alone.
You are not a burden. Somebody else or something else burdened you. You aren't even a burden to yourself. Your responsibility is to get better. Don't compare yourself to other people. It takes a lot more for someone with PTSD to start well below 0 to get to the point of having a shower than someone who is well starting from 0. If you get councelling though, It can improve though so that you are starting closer and closer to 0.
Who was it that taught you to hate everything about yourself? A child doesn't learn that, it is taught.
I think you are stuck in a situation where you say you are not improving. It is easy to find help. These days, PTSD is more recognised, and there are more therapists that focus on linking therapy. There is the better access to mental health plan to help with costs. There is a lot of support. There are forums. You aren't alone.
You are not a burden. Somebody else or something else burdened you. You aren't even a burden to yourself. Your responsibility is to get better. Don't compare yourself to other people. It takes a lot more for someone with PTSD to start well below 0 to get to the point of having a shower than someone who is well starting from 0. If you get councelling though, It can improve though so that you are starting closer and closer to 0.
- Post starter
- #18
D
Deleted member 1860
I found my solution!
Ativan for now, then on to low dose klonopin, then back to Ativan when I get my script filled next week.
So what if I appear like a bumbling moron. Idc as at least the bad feelings are gone. I shouldve done this a long time ago!!
Ativan for now, then on to low dose klonopin, then back to Ativan when I get my script filled next week.
So what if I appear like a bumbling moron. Idc as at least the bad feelings are gone. I shouldve done this a long time ago!!
reallydown
Diamond Member
((((SOL))))...I'm in a similar situation and it's so draining...Hang in there.
Sol I have been in a similar tough situation. It did get better. I didn't believe it could be better but after a month (even Xmas time) in the hospital and after few years in depression, anxiety and panic moments now I feel much better. The real friends that I had are still there. I have lost my job after 22 years but I have to say that working is not the only solution. You have us here, we can support you. Hang in there ... ""hugs""
When I feel like that (often), or should I say when it becomes unbearable (as I feel it, most of the time), it feels like I am 'grossly-allergic' to myself, a sort of self-rejection/ self-hatred beyond words and hard to stop, or not act on.
The people here are right, and they care about you (me too), and you contribute more than you know. This is a very bad time for you to get through, but the accurate facts are not only what your mind is telling you now.
I am glad the other is helping- you are neither 'bumbling' nor 'moronic'. I would venture a guess that you are so wound up, the addition of (those) meds likely brings you to an average level (of most people).
I agree a lot with heidi's 1st post (with the link), of how it feels.
Hugs if you will accept them, strength and peace offered irregardless.
The people here are right, and they care about you (me too), and you contribute more than you know. This is a very bad time for you to get through, but the accurate facts are not only what your mind is telling you now.
I am glad the other is helping- you are neither 'bumbling' nor 'moronic'. I would venture a guess that you are so wound up, the addition of (those) meds likely brings you to an average level (of most people).
I agree a lot with heidi's 1st post (with the link), of how it feels.
Hugs if you will accept them, strength and peace offered irregardless.
Eleanor
Diamond Member
A day (or seven) late, and now (happily) it sounds like maybe a moot point but
ME! I'd notice! I'd care! SO sorry not to have chimed in on time.:(
VERY happy you are feeling better. You are a gem, and your presence and compassion and wisdom HERE would be very very much missed.
(((((((SOL)))))))
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