I Was Suspended From Work Today.

[BewitchedBewildered]

I agree, unfortunately HR reps are also sometimes poorly trained. That's why I really believe you need a witness to a formal meeting with documentation, to protect yourself. And formal meetings scare HR which makes them pay more attention. Luckily you have a union rep who should look out for you before the company.

Personally I would also keep a diary to track all dates and details of issues, just in case. I've worked with good HR depts and bad. Always cover yourself.

I wish you the best!

 

[WillyKat]

That's a good point about documenting everything. Send yourself emails with notes about meetings, incidents, etc.

 

[VT86]

@Notsowild I'm so sorry that you are going through this! Your boss has some serious issues. My boss does know about my PTSD, but we have always had a good relationship. I got lucky in that respect. He was there for everything that caused my PTSD. The poor guy had to take me to the hospital more than once. That said I don't blame you for not wanting to reveal you PTSD diagnosis to your boss. I wouldn't want to make myself vulnerable to a person like that either.

I will say that you should take everyone's advice and make sure everything is documented in writing. I had some trouble this week with my employer providing an accommodation, and I always make sure that I have everything in writing, and that I send them to my private email just in case they try to pull something sneaky. I trust my boss, but I sure don't trust my company's HR department.

I wish you luck!

 

[Notsowild]

Thanks everyone for your advice and kind words.

I had such a stressful day. I talked to HR and my union today. I could barely hold the phone my hands were so shaky. There is a meeting set up for Monday to discuss my suspension. I don't think I can do this. My nerves are shot and my mind is racing.

 

[Notsowild]

Yesterday was my meeting about my suspension. I walked into my managers office with my union rep. We were handed papers outlining the incident and my getting a 3 day suspension. All her words. No one even asked my side. It was garbage, even our district manager was on her side. I guess they all stick together.

So I had already talked to my union rep before. At first he was like "that's it" till I told him its been ongoing since she came there. AND I'm not the only one having problems with her. He was great at the meeting. He said " I think there's more going on here that we'll have to look into" So we're having a union meeting on Thursday with my co-workers to discuss their problems with our boss.

I have not slept since this happened. I'm exhausted, my nerves are shot, I can't stop shaking. I was on the verge of panic attacks all weekend. I had to get my son to drive. This is all too much for me. I can't work there now. Not with her there. I'm going to the doctors on Friday to get stress leave. My psychiatrist agrees I shouldn't be there.

How do I get this stress out of my body?

 

[Echo]

@Notsowild - well done you! Fantastic for going there and facing it all, and thereby triggering the union and your co-workers to take over now. Yes, you should now be on stress leave and you should leave it to everyone else. I am in a similar dreadful state with my nerves now - for completely different reasons - and like you I now have to hand it over to others to play out the story. I keep having to remind myself that it is in the lap of the gods now. I have constant palpitations and panic attacks. I'm managing not to have constant visual flashbacks but the slightest thing puts me right back into that, if I am not careful.

I would love to have some more advice about how to deal with it, but for now, I am trying to make my life as peaceful as possible. Shutting out confrontational people; switching my phones to silent; removing answerphones from mobile and landline; and I've put an out-of-office notification on my e-mail (I work as a freelancer). Then if anyone needs attention, I can do it in my own time. I'm listening to meditational music, taking calming herbs and doing everything slowly. I have bought myself a beautiful orchid to look at and filled my flat with lovely calming smells. I'm having a couple of glasses of wine to knock me out (though I certainly don't want this to be a permanent thing). I hope things will calm down eventually; I can't live at this pitch, and neither can you. I hope you have some support at home. Let your family look after you until you are calmer.

My therapist told me that getting angry might help me. That the anger in itself would spur me on to protect myself. I just can't cope with it though. For one thing, I don't want to turn into my malevolent mother. On the other, being angry makes me feel so wobbly. But I am certainly feeling more protective of myself, though from a point of absolute weakness. I am very afraid of what all of this is doing to my heart.

Sending every good wish your way for the best outcome for all of this. I hope this difficult woman is dismissed or disciplined in such a way as to stop the behaviour dead. I hope you'll be able to go back to work, if you want to do so. Your company should be on pins about having to pay your compensation if they haven't handled this properly. Best of luck.

 

[WillyKat]

I'm having major anxiety issues today to. To answer your question about how to get it out of our bodies: I'm trying to fight as best as possible to breathe, relax my muscles, take pride in all I've dealt with over the course of my life.

So far, it's not working too well, but we have to fight through that, not give up.

 

[Notsowild]

@Echo & @WillyKat... It brought tears to my eyes... your words and thoughtfulness. It is so hard in this world when no one understands. I'm so glad I found this forum:hug::hug:

 

[Notsowild]

So we had our union meeting yesterday. I thought maybe 3 or 4 people would show up. Well mostly all the girls did ( even ones that had the day off ). So they all took turns telling their stories about our abusive manager. Our union rep was quite shocked by it all.

So not too sure what will happen next. He will talk to HR and the manager. He is going to fight my suspension AND my psychiatrist put me on stress leave. That was a huge relief. I've had so much undeserved stress from this.

 

[Barconian]

Good for you @Notsowild :) You have had undeserved stress caused by your employer as your co-workers have proven to you by their own stories! I hope the manager gets her own back (Bullies really do annoy me).