Childhood I Wish My Mam Left Him.

[pcengland1]

Me and my brother were abused when we were younger, both physically, verbally and mentally by my father. I'll never understand why my mam didn't leave him when she had the chance to. I love her so much but I will never understand it. She watched everything happen but I think she felt helpless. She knows the impact it's had on me and my brother, I just want to scream at her for letting it happen. We'd even be told not to tell anyone at school, I was frightened to say anything incase I'd get hurt or we'd get put into care.
The memories will be with me until I die. And I wish she could feel waht I feel, just once, then maybe she would have left him when it first started.
I wish she understood what I see and hear everyday.

 

[Stitchin]

There is no deeper betrayal than not being protected by a parent that should be capable of doing so.
I had many years of anger toward my mother, who blatantly refuses to "talk about things that never happened"
But I know she also was damaged - she too was abused as a child, and is not strong enough to deal with reality.
I try to be compassionate about it now, it's not very easy - I will never feel trust in her, and our communications are quite superficial.
I pride myself in speaking out within my family about the abuses, even though a sibling more than once accused me of trying to destroy the family for attention seeking reasons. This same sibling is now in therapy and dealing with the damage, and I'm heartbroken for her - but she dealt with things the best she could, even though it was hurtful to me.
Try to have compassion, it's my opinion that you mother was weak.
Practice self care, and stay the strong fighter that you obviously are!
BIG LOVE

 

[pcengland1]

There is no deeper betrayal than not being protected by a parent that should be capable of doing so.
I...

Thank you so much for your support. Big love. I find that writing and meditation helps <3

 

[ladee]

I was the only teenager I knew who begged her mom to leave her dad....begged.... and many years afterward...
I know my mom was abused in all the ways I was,in her childhood, including beatings I would get from her.
I was so confused, but he did his job well on her... she had lost her voice years before I was born.
She is deceased, in many ways he killed her with the perpetual emotional abuse.
I don't hate her, I have deep respect for her to be able to survive at all... later years she stood up to him in ways that counted...
I am an adult now, responsible for my healing... she would have helped if she had known how...
I know the damage he did to me... and I got to leave. She stayed... for whatever reasons.... her abuse never stopped until the day she died.

 

[pcengland1]

I'm really sorry for your loss and for what you went through. It's difficult (idk if there's a stronger word) dealing with traumatic events but I'm glad you're healing.